Avoiding the inevitable

Tired eyes, throbbing temples, I am awake again.
Aggression eats my muscles, frying my nerve endings, as I use
this paper as my punching bag. These lines are kicked
by the foot of this pen that bleeds ink. Bruised and beaten
is my heart that longs to never break yours-
But it's time to.

I apologize in advance for my coward look and the
chopped words that won't alleviate the pain, but
instead, evoke it. I'm just not sure if I can go through
finding out who 'we' are, when I don't even know
who I am.

I look at pictures of us from the beginning, it was new
and we were wrapped up in the thought of "forever"
that we failed to recognize the present. I've taken off
the promise ring, because I'm not sure I can make the same vow.
I've erased conversations of a wedding, because I'm
second guessing who will be at the end of the aisle.

I love you.
I'm just not sure if this destiny we were sure of
should involve me feeling uncertain.