Wow. This poem reminded me of one of Edgar A. Poe's poems, that had a fast tempo to it. I can't help but read it quickly for some reason...that doesn't mean that I don't understand it, I just can't read it slowly. There are very few poems that are like that for me :)

I love this. I really do. However, one thing is bothering me - you didn't put commas after 'the days the years the weeks' which is what is usually done for a list. I was also wondering if 'haplessness' is meant to be 'helplessness.' I know hapless is a real word, but I just wanted to bring to your attention just in case.

This poem isn't just sad - it has a dark edge to it too, and I love dark poems. This comes close to being a perfect one for me :) so congratulations. You have hit my favorite mark so far ^.^

If this is based on a true feelings, I am sorry. I really hope it isn't, and I have a feeling that it isn't, but I can never tell for certain with poems. Always gets me somewhere.

Welcome to the site! I hope you have fun here :) I am honored for being your first commenter on your first poem. Keep on writing!

Excellent
5/5

~S

I... No criticisms. It's magnificent. Amazing rhythm and tone and... You brought tears to my eyes because this is my soul explained. 5/5

I really love this poem it's nice and dark and you can really feel it unlike other poems that i have read overall it's great and i enjoyed reading it lol 5/5 from me