I shouldnt, i couldnt, but i do

I shouldnt be writing about him,
i shouldnt even be thinking about him,
i shouldnt be feeling anything for him,
i dont want to feel anything for him,
i dont want anything from him,
i dont see anything with him,
but i cant stop thinking about him,
i cant stop feeling
and i cant stop hopeing,
he shouldnt mean anything to me,
he shouldnt make me feel anything
he shouldnt remind me of happieness.
he doesnt want anything with me,
he doesnt feel anything towards me,
he doesnt mean anything to me.
he cant be anything for me,
he cant fill the emptieness for me,
he cant be appart of me,
or atleast i hope.