I loved this piece. It flowed well and had a lovely rhyme scheme. Sadly, I just have one slight issue....

You use the same punctuation for EVERYTHING! Try to change it to add emphasis, tone or to help the reader read it.

Loved it though <3

Two words.....Awe.....Some!!!

You got serious chops!! You have a great rhyming brain which allows you to create these pieces that flow very elegantly, i like that :-) i also love the almost desperate tone at the beginning and how by the end is strong, this is a great write and i cant wait to read your next piece :-)

5/5 all over the shop :-)