The Fish Bowl (a short work)

by FireCM   Sep 24, 2012


So this is all that's left of it,
A cold and deserted fish bowl
With one solemn swimmer gasping for air.
Shivering death, and hoping to redeem their soul.

1


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Latest Comments

  • 11 years ago

    by Hallucinostic

    I really like the way this was written, short but full of mystery. I dont know, but for me, reading this is like listening to one of those Beatles songs, Strawberry Fields kinda thing. Very good.

    • 11 years ago

      by FireCM

      Thank you very much. :)

  • 12 years ago

    by Naughtymouse

    Oh now this i am loooovin!!

    with such few lines you just smack imagery out of the park!! i really love the feel os this write because as larry said it has a "ghastly" image to it and the.....do you know what, i dont even know how to describe how this poem effected me lol but it did and i love it x

    • 12 years ago

      by FireCM

      Thank you. :) Much appreciated.

  • 12 years ago

    by Britt

    This feels like a dream to me. So vivid yet with a little bit of mystery, the kind of dream that when you wake up you try to cling to the memory so you don't forget what you just had happen inside your head.

    IF that makes any sense. lol

    I really like this piece and felt it was strong. Different, and I love the idea of the fish bowl. My personal interpretation is a final prayer on your death bed. That in the end, we all die and hope to move on (if that is what you believe in) to bigger and better places. This is definitely an interesting piece, one that makes ya think!

    • 12 years ago

      by FireCM

      Well then I accomplished my goal. Thank you for the wonderful comment.

  • 12 years ago

    by Larry Chamberlin

    Your poetry reads like a Francois Truffaut movie.

    This stark image is ghastly in it's iconic depiction of absurdism. The vivid image of a heavily veiled goldfish's "shivering death" sends chills down my spine as I gasp for breath.

    • 12 years ago

      by FireCM

      I have an entire folders worth of work. I really need to post more of it. That one specifically is new yesterday. I do most of my work spur of the moment.