Comments : Take care of your friend

  • Firstly, I'd just like to mention that I don't know if this has a specific syllable count, as you haven't mentioned so as you usually do. OK, here goes:

    Take care of my enemy one time
    and take care of my friend thousand times
    ^^
    I think an 'a' needs to be before the 'thousand' (if this does have a syllable count, I suppose 'and' could be removed from the beginning??)

    Perhaps he becomes an enemy
    and surely will know how to hurt me
    ^^
    I really like this ending! It's true that people often fall out of friendship over the years, and sometimes it can turn nasty. But in my opinion, even if you have helped that "friend" a thousand times, they will still probably hurt you because you are now enemies. But I like this ending nonetheless.

    Overall;
    I really like th message behind this poem - take care of your friends. I also like the off-beat rhyme scheme that I'm certain wasn't intentional at all, and really worked well. Good use of language and you have chosen a great format for the piece. Well done!