Summer (villanelle)

by Masked metaphor   Sep 26, 2012


Beneath the coolness of the summer rain,
hands entwine in love,
enduring through all the sorrowful pain.

Sometimes life can be a bitter strain,
yet all can be wiped away,
beneath the coolness of the summer rain.

Wash away all the miseries life contains,
holding me close when,
enduring through all the sorrowful pain.

Time floats endlessly in the mindless terrain,
embracing you closely,
beneath the coolness of the summer rain.

Life has more meaning with you in it, Lorraine.
A new adventure waits each day with you beside me all the way,
enduring through all the sorrowful pain.

Continue to hold my hand without disdain,
together forever as one,
beneath the coolness of the summer rain,
enduring through all the sorrowful pain.

Written by: Masked metaphor

Note: This is the first time I have written a Villanelle poem so I would really like to know what you think.

The villanelle has 19 lines, 5 stanzas of three lines and 1 stanza of four lines with two rhymes and two refrains. The 1st, then the 3rd lines alternate as the last lines of stanzas 2,3,and 4, and then stanza 5 (the end) as a couplet. It is usually written in tetrameter (4 feet) or pentameter.

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  • 11 years ago

    by Maple Tree

    A Villanelle is difficult to write, for your first try I'd say you nailed it... The rhyme scheme is very nice, being a nature piece you touched all the aspects of beauty that nature has to offer, even bringing the human touch of nature is as well... very elegant piece here by you Andrew!

  • 12 years ago

    by Lune de ma vie

    I think it is a good poem, a great job on a first try. I couldn't have done it any better. I love the repetition of the summer rain and sorrowful pain it really makes the poem what it is. The heart of the poem is real strong too, I didn't think it was too forced but I may be wrong..?

    "Time floats endlessly in the mindless terrain,
    embracing you closely,
    beneath the coolness of the summer rain."

    ^ That is my favorite part of the poem it is really elegantly pieced together and so full of love and desire.

    Beautiful if you ask me and one of my favorites.
    5/5

  • 12 years ago

    by The Poet Behind The Poems

    For your first attempt this is really good I did think that parts seemed forced but apart from that it was well written I do think it lacked power but I think that's good me

    Great write

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