Comments : Someday

  • 12 years ago

    by Maple Tree

    I have to say that my mind flip flopped and my heart spazzed out!! This write was explosive with a heart gripping message... adore this piece!

    "To run around in circles.

    To make love to that one person whose face I'll never forget.

    To gorge myself on chocolate truffles

    and then dive into a fantasy land so overwhelming

    that my heart beats itself right out of my chest.

    Someday."

    The entire piece blew me away.... but your ending that I have chosen to highlight says allot to me.... You want and desire what everyone deserves in life... and I have to say that your ending made me teary... I love poems that can touch me in this way... love this piece!!

  • 12 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    Some days you just want to find a hole and bury yourself alive-

    - that is a perfect opening because you catch the readers attention with something they can relate to first hand. Straight away I was like yes!! I do! And I knew I would relate to this poem.

    Days when humankind seems more ridiculous and ignorant than ever before.
    - I get this feeling when I see the news or hear of horrific things happening which seem even more terrible than the last.

    Days when you just want to take a water hose to that one person and drown them until they finally get it, finally see what's behind your eyes.
    - I know this feeling sooo well, it feels like nothing you say or do will make them see. you expressed this so well.

    Days when your heart just wants to love someone so badly and there's no one there to accept it.
    -the loneliness really shines through here and so many peple experience this. This line is very very sad and touching.

    Days when tears flow like rivers without a purpose.
    - these are the days that are so hard for others to understand. You still get the people who do not understand how you can cry for no reason. These are the days that are the hardest to get through.

    Days when you're as afraid to live as you are to die.
    - totally! You do not want to die in a suicidal kind of way, you just don't really feel like there is a point in living this way at the same time. Kind of stuck in the middle feeling.

    Days when you want to bleed and scream in pleasure and pain at once.
    - It is so overwhelming when we get such strong mixed feelings like this, you have worded it so well here.

    Days when you feel you are going to explode into puzzle pieces scattered across the continents.

    - amazing! This imagery here is great and the explosion for me is my anger more than anything else.

    The energy is caught in the base of your throat and has nowhere to go.

    - this line is quite funny for me because I suffer with elective mutism which makes it very hard to talk, and this is exactly how it feels. Its all there in my throat but it doesn't come out, and sometimes feels like it is choking me!

    It's suppressed and in pain, dying in the trap the world has laid out.

    - here you can see just how cruel you think the world is which makes me think you have experience a lot of sadness and pain instead of a lot of good and kindness.

    It's choking me, suffocating-

    I want to scream.

    To run around in circles.

    To make love to that one person whose face I'll never forget.

    To gorge myself on chocolate truffles

    and then dive into a fantasy land so overwhelming

    that my heart beats itself right out of my chest.

    Someday.

    - This ending is very well fitted to the poem and the emotions are so mixed and strong and I could actually feel all of this inside my heart and through out my body while reading it.

    Another fantastic write! x