Wow a very deep powerful write, I can really see the self reflection coming to life where you review the way your parents have treated you growing up and understanding that not all parents are like that.
I just have to say I can relate to every word, my childhood still haunts me and a part in your poem that really stood out to me was the last stanza and the ending line which poses as a rhetorical question of what hope do I have? I hope I don't turn out like my parents when I have children, my aim is to give my children a childhood I never had and to show them what a true parent should be like.
Well penned!
It also allowed me to self reflect
5,5

Okay, so this is sad as hell, I have to start it out there. And it's really hard to want to critique a poem that holds so much emotion, so take this with a grain of salt, because in this end... a release like this is just that. A release. Here goes!

I personally am not a fan of the "oh.." in the beginning and I think if you removed it it would still have a very hard affect on the emotions. The oh indicates (to me) something soft.. when the next line is something so honest and vulnerable. I feel the "oh" takes away from it... like it's an afterthought.

"safe cuddles

and a friend

as well as a mother"

I think you should eliminate the "a" before 'mother' here. I don't think it's necessary and it shortens the line JUST enough to help with the flow.

I feel like the second to last full stanza (about loving them even though you shouldn't) was almost.. unnecessary to me. I see why you feel it's important, but it disrupted the poem to me. Perhaps someone else will have a better way to set it up, but I feel it's a little awkward the way it is. Well maybe that's intentional because that part can't be easy.

Again like I said this is SUCH an emotional poem that I feel like anything I critique is absolutely nit-picky..lol.

Jenni, that was too emotional for someone to be able to handle... I'll just say that you moved me away... it's like you're breathing your words. awesome.

Jenni that's so sorrowful! The most important part that made me feel so sad is this:
"Do you remember when you had me
by the hair, hand over mouth
and I couldn't breathe?"
I'd like everyone who really has real feelings to read it.

It's not related to psychological problem.

Well this poem is full of circumstances that most people encounter in their daily life.

I don't know what to say because people may vary from one another.

Thank you for sharing that, Jenni.