I'm a Loser

by Edward Oropeza   Oct 2, 2012


I was once knew you, shedding tears
I was once heard you, chanting words of brokenness
I was once felt deep inside you are asking, why me?

And I was there, trying to wipe your tears
Offering my shoulder to lay your head on me
And comforting you at the agony of your heart,

But you laugh so hard, and make a frown on me
You push me away as hard as you could,
and you took a dime to stab me,

Somehow you reflect your sorrow on me,
You inflict on me so much pain,
I was paralyzed by your envy,
And your laughs cast me on silence,

My mind started to piece those jigsaw puzzles,
I'm too exhausted to solve this rubix cube,
All I wonder, whilst other make it easy to play on,
While I'm gnashing behind those enigma,

For them you are piece of nectar,
Once sweetness sap, will be left behind
You look very innocent, and they ambush you on it..

But for a pity me,
You are that gem in the cauldron of fire,
You are the hunter that haunts me in the abyss,

I admit I'm a little bit of a loser,
here's the jigsaw and rubix cube,
I'll left them unsolved,
As for you, I'm a prey

And there's no other reason
to beat the odds of prey and predator bonding,
Of enemy and friends...

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Latest Comments

  • 11 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    I really loved the message in this poem.

    At first I thought it was like a sweet love story, and that this person was damaged and you were trying to help heal her and fix her. So I waited on when she would accept this. But instead what I found was that she was never treating you nice and indeed it was you fighting for her all the time.

    I seen this person as fake, and two faced. showing one side to other people who thought she was sweet and innocent. like perhaps you did too. But then she shows the other side to you that is the opposite.

    I like the rubix cube and jigsaw- like you can just never understand the puzzle of her and what she wants from you and why she is this way with you. To leave them unfinished later on was so harsh, it shows you gave up after trying for so long.

    Then to end the poem with a predator and prey trying to be friends, just showed how impossible this relationship was going to be.

    Very powerful.

    A few suggestions -

    I'm exhausted to solve this rubix cube

    - I'm too exhausted.

    You look very innocents

    - innocent.

    You are that gems

    - gem.

    I admit I'm a bit little loser,

    - you need to change the wording here, either:

    I'm a bit of a loser
    I'm a little bit of a loser

    something like that .. would sound better.

    But did enjoy this poem and the story.

  • 12 years ago

    by Lune de ma vie

    Really emotional and powerful.
    Great work, another one I can relate to in a sense.
    You've got to stay strong and keep that head up.
    You did a great job here putting emotions into words.
    Amazing.
    5/5

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