Comments : Looking Up (Summer 2012)

  • 12 years ago

    by Nema

    I think the title of the poem would've been better without the brackets, though it sounds just as great after reading the poem.

    Your opening lines were very delicate, such a beautiful drunkiness of honeysuckle. You just taught me a new word (yes, forgive my poor English) :)

    This is an absolutely exquisite, fine piece of poetry, Melissa. You've created the greatest imagery I've seen; I could see a thousand constellations already, which I don't really see in the city sky.

    "And I am astounded
    by their existence"
    ^
    I don't know, I think your ending could've been better, y'know? Like you're not just astounded, their existence lives in you and you should be able to breathe the stars and the moon and the sun.

    Great write :)
    Shine on~

  • 12 years ago

    by Faithless

    I love everything bout this poem, the scene that you painted, the chemistry between you & the universe and how you intertwine it to together with your word play and not forgetting how effortless and smooth you make this poem to be.

    Excellent Job

  • 12 years ago

    by Faithless

    I love everything bout this poem, the scene that you painted, the chemistry between you & the universe and how you intertwine it to together with your word play and not forgetting how effortless and smooth you make this poem to be.

    Excellent Job

  • 12 years ago

    by Faithless

    I love everything bout this poem, the scene that you painted, the chemistry between you & the universe and how you intertwine it to together with your word play and not forgetting how effortless and smooth you make this poem to be.

    Excellent Job