Burning Candles

by Edward Oropeza   Oct 7, 2012


Burning candles,
With that body made of wax,
And all her lifetime
Is measured by candlewick,
She gives her luminance
where the world can see her,

But she's not pretending,
As the world witnesses her tears,
With that pain in her heart burning,

Yet nobody cares when she's gone,
As the world lights another
burning candle...

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  • 12 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    This was really well written, I liked the metaphor use of the candle burning and I suppose your use of this could be read in many different ways, it could actually mean so many different things depending on how you look at things.

    It holds a lot of depression, and I imagine it as more of a lost soul who has been so badly damaged she feels so invisible like she is just slowly fading away or burning away from everything that she knows, the burning representing the pain she has been though and is suffering with inside.

    I agree with maple, I would change the last word from plural to single... "burning candle" which would end the poem correctly.

    Awesome job on this one though, very powerful.

    • 12 years ago

      by Edward Oropeza

      This is short poems can be figured out in many diff. views...but this is really about a women whose younger days has been a pleasure to many until her time fades and she treated so badly, and she find ways to survive by herself...but the world does not care about her, cause there is still another star to be for another entertainment....

  • 12 years ago

    by Maple Tree

    Edward- I read this piece yesterday, but now I have time to comment... I have to tell you this piece was brilliant... "Burning" candles as a metaphor for a woman who is dying perhaps? I adore candles and have used them a few times as metaphors and I have to say you did an elegant job with this piece... there are a few grammar issues I would like to address, to help you shape this piece up if I may...

    Second Stanza: witness = witnesses

    "pain her"= try "Pain in her"

    "As the world would lit another
    burning candles..." -----------> try this

    As the world lights another burning candle..

    Just a few things I noticed and thought I would mention, hope I was of some help... I really love this piece!! very nice!

    • 12 years ago

      by Edward Oropeza

      Thank you very much for the aid with this piece...comments rectified...maybe it could be in a great shape =)

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