Inflicted

by Chelsey   Oct 8, 2012


I remember when the sound of my keyboard tapping
meant I was writing about love and friendship , but
tonight it's the sound of letting go. Forfeiting this
game, these charades, and acts that could last a lifetime-
because they're real for me.

My heart is flawed; it holds no boundaries,
which is what leads me to devastation each time.
I can't do that anymore. I listen to the lies I tell myself
and believe them. The truth of this matter really ,
is that my feelings go beyond the unimaginable.

I can't write fluffy love poems or adorable lyrics
any longer. Maybe I should write an acrostic
because that'd spell out every feeling I'm truly hiding.

I don't know why I get blinded by anything,
anyone, that makes me smile.
It's as if I've never tasted sweetness before.

So here I am, staring at the ceiling , watching the fan spin
and I'm reminded of what's going on inside my head.
Twirling, confusion, annoyance, and it's all my fault.
They say you can't help how you feel, oh but you can-
I just chose not to.

Maybe October has rained her last day upon my
weighted shoulders that now...now I know.
This is what it will be like every day to be
in love with you. Burdened, worrisome, saddened.

Who am I kidding? This is already what it's like
just to want you.

I feel foolish because I proclaim that it's time to focus on me,
but the compass of my thoughts point in your direction.

I know they aren't intentional, but spare me these
mind games because I won't ever win. I won't be
able to sort out how I truly feel for you.

What I'm getting at here, is that I'm not sure if
my muscles are strong enough to carry on with this.
So love me less, because loving me more has only
brought infliction on my heart and mind.

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  • 11 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    I love this Chels chels, I related to a lot of this so much and loved how you described your emotions here.

    Maybe I should write an acrostic
    because that'd spell out every feeling I'm truly hiding.

    - I loved this idea of spelling out and the acrostic, it would be never ending if we done this and be so deep and filled with everything we hold inside.

    It is like you mention writing about love poems and friendship, perhaps because that is what your mood was or perhaps it is what you thought people wanted to read, where as now, your mood has changed or you have decided to no longer write what others want to read but write what you yourself needs to write.

    I don't know why I get blinded by anything,
    anyone, that makes me smile.

    - because the feeling of that something makes us feel good, and we do not want to acknowledge that this could end up making us feel bad. I get this line.

    feel foolish because I proclaim that it's time to focus on me,
    but the compass of my thoughts point in your direction.

    - also loved this line because it just expresses how hard it is for us to move on even when we so desperatly want to, sometimes things and thoughts just hold us back.

    Great ending, describing where you are right now with your feelings on this subject and what it has felt like in this situation.

    Really good write Chels, I enjoyed this and felt quite connected with your words. xx

  • 11 years ago

    by Yakori bint Muhammed

    This is so deep and emotive of gloom and it portrays an ambivalent subject in need of a nudge to pick up his or her life and move on. Its not a good feeling to feel disheartened and agitated indefinatley. It causes pangs of fear of the known and unknown, uncertain when all this chagrin feeling will roll out of your system, giving way to a hopeful gleeful spirit.

    Our intentions determine our actions, hence actions moulding our motive into an elemental value of outright virtue. Lifes' intricacy can't be ascertained but expectations on what to and not to, assures a fair game.

    Written from an inner core shell, it gets one into thoughts about our everyday choices and espacades. I enjoyed reading this so well. Feels somewhat so so personal. *claps*, thanks for sharing. Keep up churning magnificent works.

  • 11 years ago

    by Wafaa

    Omg this poem left me simply amazed.

    'I don't know why I get blinded by anything, 
    anyone, that makes me smile.
    It's as if I've never tasted sweetness before.'

    ^^ this made me tear up because there was a time in my life when all it took was a simple smile to have me fallen, like if my emotions were so confused to the point where anything could help.

    'So love me less, because loving me more has only
    brought infliction on my heart and mind.'

    ^^the words in these lines are so powerful I can't believe it! the battle you're feeling deep inside your soul is translated between the lines. this just shows the amount of love you have yet yourself's inability to inhale it because it has made you so confused.. I love this poem great job! 5/5

  • 11 years ago

    by Maple Tree

    At first I thought your title read "infected" sighs.... I mistook a title a few days ago on one of Nanas poems as well... I really need glasses and Im taking up a collection to pay for them soon... ha ha

    You have been bitten... the love monster has bit you!

    When the heart feels the love the mind sometimes is not ready to respond to the heart and it makes a wicked emotion boil from deep within and that is how I took this piece to be.. and to read... It left me feeling sorrow and yet love... Love can make you feel like a giant pile of mush or scattered confetti in the rain... sighs... powerful piece indeed!

  • 11 years ago

    by Amreen

    Wow.... such a thoughtful write and I like the visuals you draw with this piece... I like the flow, the ideas running so true:)
    Excellent(:

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