Plucked

Nice little poem Maple, you always make such interesting shapes with these ones. Those two starting words kind of leave the reader no choice but to read on, then the flow is so fast we have to read it all.... not once, but again and again.

Nice one. xx

I've just come to the conclusion that I'm picky about everything in writing.

INCOMING OPINIONS! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. (but seriously, I'm just trying to give tips, not pick you apart) XD

I really like this. It's a nice, clever metaphor.

The simplicity of it is fine. What I think would work better, though, is if this were the final stanza of a larger piece. I feel like a short piece needs to be more concise than this in order to appeal to the audience (if this is indeed what you're trying to accomplish).

Think of all the magic you could add to this and how you could weave an entire story that fully explains the origin of these feelings!

Other than that, just a spelling error (crescendo) and maybe make a few tweaks to the punctuation. I find that free running phrases don't always work so well in short pieces - I think that's part of the reason why I would like to see a longer piece.

Hope that helps!

:O Okay...I am totally speechless...I always love your writes, and I really feel like I should be saying something other than WOW...
I mean...I want to talk about the fact that the flow was smooth, that I loved the length...I thought it was captivating, strong, powerful...

This was just breathtaking...and OMG I love it
xx

Indeed...wow. Will be back whenever my boss gives me a break, I swear!

Wooooow this is sooooo unique, and I love it:)