My Awakening

by ah satan 666   Oct 8, 2012


I'm back!

My eyes restlessly try to fight
the kaleidoscope images
of smudged red and yellow coloured light.

I don't want to open my eyes.

A familiar feeling rushes through my body
like lightning striking an apocalyptic fiery sky,
longingly awaiting its thunderous better half.

Then it begins.

As if i was cracked with a whip,
a plagued pain consumes my chest,
like the contagious infection
it ripples through my body
as if a stone thrown in water.

My body aches as eyes cry,

"I'm missing you".

Our time is spent.
I'm awake.

Haunted by your autumn shade
of golden brown eyes and enchanting smile,
until our next encounter.

In this world i have to call you friend
but in my world,
Your my souls awakening.

A true portrait of beauty,

my love.

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  • 9 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    In this world i have to call you friend
    but in my world,
    Your my souls awakening.

    - you are*

    Again - the punctuation needs fixed in this one. But I like the layout, and of course that you have made the content fit into the darkness category!

    Your descriptions are really good even way back here, the imagery you create from your adjectives is just so capturing and real, I am jealous of your ability in this!!!

    Nice to read your older work!

  • 11 years ago

    by Marcy Lewis

    This is a piece that just..like I'm empathetic to it. It just pretty much forced me to be that way. I don't know. This has some really strong ropes. Almost hypnotizing. And sort of heartbreaking, and also tenor-changing. It's really freaking good. In my favorites.

    I like how in the beginning, the speaker is fighting fatigue. And she falls into sleep, like she can't help it - which I didn't recognize until

    "Our time is spent.
    I'm awake. "

    Then I realized, oh, she's not in some battle, she's having a dream. Which totally was amazing. That was like "AHA!" when I read that. The flavor of the poem changes when you speak of the lover.

    "....your autumn shade
    of golden brown eyes and enchanting smile"

    Using the seasons to describe the lover, was just brilliant, and I love that. It's so warm and comfortable from the pain a few lines up.

    Masterfully crafted, doll! :)

  • 12 years ago

    by Maple Tree

    You truly have a way with words.... this was an awesome dark piece to read... I love dark romance... thats the feeling I got within this piece and it was thrilling!!!!! Welcome to PnQ.... !!

    • 12 years ago

      by ah satan 666

      Thank very much :D.... For fun I usually write Childrens poems or short stories.... My social group of friends has many children, I keep them amused & off the computers lol... Kids have brilliant imaginations & I like to see them explore it & express themselves.
      I usually draw to vent my feelings but they're coming out in words lately, I don't usually write poems that have significance to anything, like I said a few rhyming words for the kids..... A friend found p&qs sight & I'm glad I registered..... There are many talented people on here.... And for tree days now I've have just allowed myself to get lost in every bodies world... Its made me smile :) .. So thank you very much for the welcome, I look forward to reading more of your work maple tree :)

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