Comments : We were something- slam poetry

  • 12 years ago

    by Yakori bint Muhammed

    Chelsey, Chelsey, Chelsey, how many times did I call you?. You nailed it right on the hall of fame again and again. This is just out of this realm. Your creativity is just limitless and I just don't know what to say. I'm literally mute, you sure know how to cast a spell in poetry.

    Love invariably is inexplicably packed with loads of emotions that is mysterious. One can feed and dine in love but not necessarily be clothe by it. We're meshed in its toxic nature and we just can't be freed. We're always looking for that perfect partner when in reality there's no such perfectionist. As couples we need to accept one another and create that perfect breeding ground with our imperfections.

    However, when its just not meant to be, we just need to pack our bags and luggages and move on. No amount of counsel, space or discuss can set a new platform to start all over. The more we try to endure and settle score, the more distraught we become. 'We were something' agreed and that was worthwhile but not anymore.

    'What will be, will always be. Que sera sera'..

    Beautiful composition, I love it! You go girl ;-))..

  • 12 years ago

    by Daisy if you do

    Chels, i know this is a love poem but just wanted to point out an error that kind of took away the seriousness of the poem. balls of holly should be boughs of holly. lol. my daughters name is holly and she said she don't have those. seriously....when you fix it let me know so i can take it serious and i will leave a better comment. I know you won't get offended as your sense of humor is like mine...warped. take care dear.

    • 12 years ago

      by Chelsey

      Lmfao. I'm so blonde its ridiculous. Thanks Kay.

  • 12 years ago

    by Tara Kay

    I really didn't feel like reading a love poem yet I live your new style so I wantes to read it cos I love you darling...i.do and rhis was so.in ya face like.it shoud be...it was catchy and deep and so strong and wjen.i het on the laptop i.will promise to check.out thw.link and.listen.

    love ya alwys
    xxx

  • 12 years ago

    by Daisy if you do

    Chels, woo i can take this seriously now. lol I love some of the imagery in this write....though i did chuckle at big boy panties. I have only heard that term referred to girls. guys don't take things as serious as us girls and you are right we are crying and they live it up. but usually we get our heads and wits back and then its revenge. sad part is you could tell most men this all day long and they never realize it was a result of how they first acted. Awesome job on this.

  • 12 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    Chels Chels!! I love this! You are so good at slam poetry.

    I like how you open it with the regret and uncertainty after a break up as to whether or not you have done the right thing, and then that something stops you, this is so powerful which loads can relate to and I am sure will thank you for putting it into words for them.

    I love the layout of how you write what you say, very unique and breaks the thoughts up a little, making them stronger and it is very powerful how you have described the beatings with words he said to you.

    To forget.
    To move on.
    To let go.
    To be angry-
    because that race seems easier than getting you back.

    But really,
    I've stayed awake.

    Crying,
    Praying,
    Aching,
    Losing-
    because being without you has made me bitter.

    - In this part what I read is confusion, like you are in a place where you just don't know which direction to go, away from him or back to him. Either way you are struggling with the affects of the break up and perhaps the mental scars of the relationship but at the same time the scars from not being in it.

    Near the end of the poem it becaomes more confident that you start to think you deserve better than him, and in time you will make him the one who feels sorry for losing you and that you will be so much better without him.

    Then months later, when the girl is
    refocused,r
    - there is an r at the end which I think you have meant to delete.

    Ending is brilliant and it makes it all worth going through because it has taught you what you are worth and how much more you deserve. If you really mean that much to them they would treat you with respect form the start til the end and enver ever let you go.

    Fantastic poem, I enjoyed this and your confidence that you will come out this a stronger person!