When mind is made up, win is close. Whom one loves, it's hard to let go.

You have a couple of little typos here...your profile says you want honest critique so....

The titanics last few hours, in the pit of my stomach. *titanic's*
piercing screams ehco my derelict shell, *echo*
of souls from within crying "save me"....
vibrates through every inch of my bones.
I reveal the queen of hearts from my chest,
and lay her before you.
There's disbelief in your eyes..."Your calling me?" *you're*
Letting me know the stakes are high.
"I'm all in"...
There's No going back.
Its been too many years coming, *It's*
your bluff I must call.
To end my suffering
of an excruciating
everlasting
fall.

...He folded!

It's a good write apart from these little errors which can be easily fixed. Can I suggest something for your title? I'm not sure if All In is significant to you personally but if not....I'd like to have seen something more creative eg....you mention the titanic and you also end with he folded... (like cards perhaps?) ..both have a deck so....something along these lines?

This was quite unique I loved the use of the titanic
Such a strong price , awesome message

:)