Well I'm glad to see a new poem from you because you're an amazing writer. This is filled with so much emotion I truly love it, because it's very sincere and honest, although it has a touch of sadness.

Let me start with saying, I suck at leaving comments and usually just ramble on.
You already sort of know how this poem is going to touch me in a special way.. so I don't need to explain.

The first stanza was interesting, it set the mood for me & intrigued me with where you were taking this. I especially liked the last line..

without any demands we formed our own symmetry.

Sort of like although neither wanted anything from the other, you still seemed to balance each other out. Beautiful expression.

You continue explaining this in the second stanza, assuring my thoughts on the last sentence. It always seems to be better with someone to share your loneliness with rather then being completely alone.

You've got, what I lack, to make me the way I want to be

and yet that is too much to ask for.

Such a sad and disappointing realization to come to.. That someone else can fill all your voids, yet that'd be a bit much. :(

I halt on mountains, high ones, but not the highest
and autumn wearily creaks underneath my feet,
face upwards I question if the sun is still shining,

while mine decided to set.

This is my favorite stanza, it took it as a way of showing hope, strength even, although there is still sadness at the end. I say this because you halting on high mountains, but not the highest.. Meaning you've still got more to climb; you haven't given up just yet. Then mentioning looking up at the sky questioning if the sun is still shining because yours has set. Wow, that is so amazing Jenni. You're wonderful. I love this and you deserve the best! You're so talented.

-Before 'too' (3rd line) a comma is needed.
-The commas between 'what I lack' are unnecessary.
-After <I want to be>, a comma is needed.
- After <not the highest>, a comma is needed.

---- Never mind, I thought I'd help :p

Okay, Jenni, please, I want to know what your title means.

This was a beautiful piece from you. I'm truly fond of your writes. You're not very productive, but when you write, you write masterpieces.

Your ending is MARVELOUS by all means. And thanks for the explanations also, for that cleared some things a bit :)

Way to go, poetess :)

I went ahead and googled the title even before I got to the end of your piece, well google kinda gave me a reasonable meaning that actually linked to the piece.

Ok now back to this piece. OMG Jen, you pause but when you write you create wonders with your words. You make the reader feel what you are feeling.

The opening is breathtaking, got me wanting to read more, to know more. But the line following it ..

"without any demands we formed our own symmetry."
^^
I love the tone in this line, it shows how easily you two just connected.

I also loved how you mentioned that trust was formed without any hidden aims or intentions.

You got me with this piece Jen, got me feeling those same emotions you had.

Amazing girl, just perfect!

xxx

Oh my Jenni I love when you write new poetry. Seriously, your wording is so unique to this site, any time you post something new its a breath of fresh air.

Your beginning stanza Jen was just absolutely stunning. I mean really breath taking. Personifying months as if they were human, driving/walking through the country, I just loved that....Wondering if you should change "that" to "they" though? Just seemed a bit off to me.

we only illuminated each other
despite the distance

^^^ This broke my heart. Trust me, I know the feeling VERY well of adoring someone that is so far from you, yet they are your sunshine, they radiate everything about you. That line is beautiful and so real, but gut wrenching because distance leads to heart ache.

You've got what I lack to make me the way I want to be,

and yet that is too much to ask for.

^^ LOVED THIS! I just wrote a poem called "Utopia" and that is what this line reminded me of because in my poem I stated that it might be too much responsibilty to bare for the guy, to make us everything we want to be, but there is no permission needed.....they do it naturally. Sometimes people make us who we want to be without even asking them to do so. Without effort.

Oh the ending is so raw.....Very imaginative though. I loved autumn under your feet reminded me of dried dead leaves, and the sun is setting for you but youre wondering is it shining where he is....

These feelings are painful to go through Jen. Been there....am there now...and its tough. To allow yourself to get close to someone who you want to give your all to, but not sure if you can. Not sure if itd work. Not sure how they feel..

Youre amazing. Sincere. Beautiful.

I was looking through our clubs poems, I always look at the titles first and then look at the author... it was in German, so I knew it was yours... I got excited because your pieces always blow me away... and this one did not fail. I would like to know what it means, but I will not pester you with my questions. :P

The personification of the months is amazing, love it so much. I love the line illuminated each other despite the difference. I know so many people that can relate to this. Sometimes distance is a huge role in major complications of friendships/relationships because it's so hard to not be able to physically be with that person, not to mention the different time zones, too. It's just plain out hard and I've known many people to get hurt like this.

"without any demands we formed our own symmetry."
I have to say this is probably my favorite line from this poem. You two connected flawlessly, no need to try to form a connection, it instantly happened.

"You've got what I lack to make me the way I want to be,"
That person has what you lack, a something that you desire...maybe you are meaning their heart? You want their heart so you can be whole? But you feel like it's too much to ask for.

I love the line autumn wearily creaks underneath my feet... autumn is my favorite time of the year and I always love the sound of dead leaves being crushed as I walk on them.

Jenni, this piece is amazing and I'm nominating it... I hope you win, it truly deserves it! :D

I think translated your title means...torn or separated? Not complete?....forgive me if I'm wrong...it's been many years since I spoke German...

Months traveled the country and kissed horizon
from both sides, that even acted coyly to be seen.
You were tough to see ,too. While the night stood
behind the house, we only illuminated each other
despite the distance;

My interpretation is of a person you know and would like to know better but...you are both reluctant to do so for some reason so...you both are cautious?

without any demands we formed our own symmetry.
^^^^

Symmetry is not a word I see often in poetry and I've often wondered why....quite a brilliant word IMO!

Although our trust grew, there was no common aim,
which could have gotten us closer, yet we appreciated
our twosome loneliness. I faced you in my dreams
and saw yours in me.

This is my favourite stanza....I don't know why but my thoughts went to two people doing the Rumba....think that's the dance where they're faces are poker straight but the body language tells another story? I think there should be a comma after twosome?

Their narrator and beat were different, hence the end
had to be another one too, but you knew... because
you were one of them. Your voice, clear and stark,
was meant to open my eyes, yet it saturated my ears
(with hope). I, your reverberant sound, constantly
searching for you.

Further up you talk about you, I and out and yet you say here their narrator....maybe I'm reading it wrong but....maybe it should be our?

You've got what I lack to make me the way I want to be,

and yet that is too much to ask for.

I halt on mountains, high ones, but not the highest,
and autumn wearily creaks underneath my feet,
face upwards I question if the sun is still shining,

while mine decided to set.

^lovely ending...you were torn...separated...but are incomplete....

Nice one....loved it!

I've spent about 20 minutes trying to word all the thoughts flowing through my head... but I still can't, in saying that, i'll make it short.

This poem is extremely beautiful, your way with words is mesmerizing. Reading it, I feel like i'm inside your head... I feel like I can relate to this soo deeply, it's a strange feeling. I've never felt this way about a poem before.

I do wish you would post more often, you are simply amazing. (:

I've been wanting to comment on this one. Other than Hellon's comment, I have no clue what the title means. I'd love to know; I feel it is a very important part of the poem and not knowing makes me so curious.
I think this would be a very messy, unorganised comment so I'll highlight those things that really touched me and verses that I could relate so much with..

"Although our trust grew, there was no common aim, which could have gotten us closer, yet we appreciated our twosome loneliness."

When I read this part, it felt like you've written about my relationship with someone. I love how you've written 'twosome loneliness.' When I read loneliness, I immediately think of one person. You know, completely alone and all. Yet using twosome as its modifier altered my view of it. I picture two people lonely, yet they are together. And it seems like they cannot cure their loneliness, even if they are together.

" I faced you in my dreams and saw yours in me."

Loved this. I find it really interesting to read/write about dreams. It just fascinates me. This felt so surreal. I see it quite sad because you finally had the courage, perhaps to face this said person, but it was in your dream so it was unreal. You'd wake up and it's like nothing happened at all. But then he saw his (dreams) in you. His future? So, it added a little hope..

"Your voice, clear and stark, was meant to open my eyes, yet it saturated my ears
(with hope)"

I take it, it was false hope. There's deceit. And there's nothing more painful than being betrayed by the one you so love. This goes back to the trust you mentioned earlier.. You both have different plans, different goals. Hence, no connection/relationship in the end.

"I halt on mountains, high ones, but not the highest,"

This, to me, shows the trust built is broken. And once it is broken, it is so hard to fix it. There will be doubt and you can never really give it back completely. Barriers will be raised..
This shows there is no more willingness to risk it all. And sometimes that is what love needs, what love is: taking risks, chances. In order to progress, perhaps? Without that, nothing happens and sometimes perhaps it is best to let go. move on.

"face upwards I question if the sun is still
shining, while mine decided to set."

Beautiful ending. Really breathtaking. This, to me once more, shows that that trust will never be given back completely. But still, I feel that there is still love/longing in one of them. In the other, however, there is nothing anymore - if there ever really was.

I can't give a detailed descriptive illustrious definition of this poem, because you would have to be without a brain to not understand.

You verse it in a way that isn't very common, but you can definitely feel the heart beat of it, and its enjoyable to say the lease.

You need to write more. 5/5