Relinquished

Okay Miss Chelsey, I know I messaged you earlier this week to tell you what I thought about this, but I am JUST NOW making my way back to comment.

Like I told you, weird, as if we've traded places, when I read this, it feels like you've taken a stroll through my part of hell while I went up to let the sun shine on me for a bit...

Anyway, I don't want to comment in a traditional break down of this. I think the whole piece is very powerful, but there are two particular parts that just smack me in the face (for lack of a better term.)

"The one where laughter was a daily requirement.
The one where your voice was my nicotine.
The one where love songs motivated insomnia.
The one where I birthed poetic babies for you."

This part makes me a bit angry for you. I know each of these feelings well and it angers me to no end, your birthing of poetic babies for this person. These "poetic births" really are a piece of us, aren't they?

"I so hope your days are altered with sadness.
I hope your voice is blackened with karma.
I hope insomnia turns into a physical nightmare.
I hope you write of how you lost an angel-
that would do anything to save you. Daily."

I'm curious by nature, always analyzing, questioning, and I don't mean in the way that I'm wanting to know anything more than what you put to paper, but rather...in the way that it makes me wonder....after you purge yourself of these feelings, how this person might think of you and write...

I feel for you, whatever inspired this piece Chelsey, but DAMN IT, you're spitting shit that is totally MY STYLE and I'm diggin it.

This has got to be my favorite poem of yours!

Whoa. Chels.

I don't know why this was very fast-paced to me. I read it in like a minute yet I felt every part of it, it was easy to understand the pain and frustration in the poem, perhaps because most of us have been through similar situations.
Or, the anger in your poem is so evident, so visible that it seemed like I'm the one screaming in the piece. Amazing how you made me angry just by reading it. just about what I need I think, since I haven't been good with poetry and expressing. Ughh.

"I'm sorry, did I hurt your feelings when I forgot
to say goodbye?"
^
Sarcasm. I really love how you started this poem with it. It added fury to the piece and its pace.

"I don't believe in "forever" because well...
we aren't even promised tomorrow. "
^
I wrote a similar line once, so I can really feel this because I, too, never believed in empty promises. People will leave anyways, even without them wanting to.

"The one where love songs motivated insomnia.
The one where I birthed poetic babies for you."
^
Those are my favorite lines. Amazingly written, especially the first. Brilliant!

I love how you ended this poem, it's sad how we write about the people who hurt us the most although they never ever deserve such beautiful pieces. Yet again you can only write beautiful poetry when you really really feel it.

Brilliant write Chels.
Shine on~

OMG Chelsey!!

This is so hard to even read, I hope you are ok hon. You killed me with these lines, with the emotions buried in every word. It shows how much this person was to you, and how much hurt he just left you with.

Those beginning lines were showing the pain you felt, and those lines ...

"The one where laughter was a daily requirement.
The one where your voice was my nicotine.
The one where love songs motivated insomnia.
The one where I birthed poetic babies for you."
^^
OMG, these just left me speechles. I think they are my favorite part of you piece.

Then you took a different route, showing hatred throught your words, and I was like yeah girl let it all out ofyour system. Not realising you were etting to that ending. You killed me at the end.

Love it!

Your writing style has defentely change..
I see you have stepped out of that love as a fairy tale cage you used to be in.

your poetry has become so honest now,
so raw... they almost feel like a slap on the face all the time.. sometimes your sarcasm gets so cruel I burn a little for who ever it is written about lol

you're digging deeper, I see your metaphors become less and less cliche...
also the way you incorporate typical conversation material, like the "ha ha ha"
or the "I get it" ... you just set this tone where I can just hear it in my head.

I like mean poetry, I'm so sick of that lovey dovey romantic bullcrap everyone is on.

mostly because I don't of poetry as
something illusive anymore. the more honest the poem, the bigger the emotional release.

its just so refreshing to not come across
things like "oh and the moon tween my tits" and all that crap.

you just say it like it is and get it over with.
ain't afraid to throw some "!" here and there
to make them get it.

gurl you angry, I like it.
muah.

Ohh chels... This piece speaks my state of mind... I am at awe. you have showcased so much of emotions here... I cannot utter more... Truly emotional... And sad
Excellent in.every sense of this word:)