A drying rose...

What I got from it is you spend your life then you grow old and watch the world deteriorate . He misses the past and his youth. maybe im totally wrong. but thats what i got from it . i like it , putting yourself in someone elses shoes.

This really captures the dismal plight of aging. It almost gives a shiver of anxiety about aging, so it must be well-written! 5/5

WOW!!!! i stand corrected i am NOT a good poet after reading this!!!! the title didn't really give me a hint of this but it should've! dang this poem made me want to cry and i don't cry normally and unfortunalty people that give the better part of their lives for their families often are those like these in this poem but not if he has people love him this poem is just awesome and no one will take it away the greatness in this poem! :) 5/5

Queen Ash

Wow! I love how raw the imagery is; you really made me see this man and care deeply about him in just 5 stanzas!

The title: WOW! I think this is a beautiful title that speaks volumes by itself. It really drew me in.

He sits on his rocking chair
tallying accounts,
reading newspaper,
gazing at the sky sometimes
as he passes his retirement days.

^^
The imagery of this stanza is outstanding. Everything is vividly envisioned. One thing I will suggest is that in the line about the newspaper to either add 'the' before 'newspaper' or add an 's' onto newspaper as it seems to read slightly awkwardly. (as does my last statement, lol) But yes, this is a simple, beautiful and emotive opening stanza. Very well done.

The visit of relatives
brings a smile on his face
though he isnt looked upon
his words fall on deaf ears,
his presence often unnoticed.

^^
This increases the level of sorrow: his beloved family takes the time to see him, but it's almost pointless because they care, they don't want to be there, they've already removed him from their lives and now they're just waiting for the inevitable. Again flawless imagery - when I first read those first two lines it made me smile because I could see and almost feel the sheer joy he was said to be feeling at seeing his family - an innocent and easy happiness - but then I read the following lines and the warmth of joy just seeped from my bones. You have a way with words to create emotion and take it away and/or alter it instantly.

He possess the best of guidance
but revolted upon often,
His weak vision-
strong enough to
hide his love for care.

^^
I think 'possess' should be plural - it reads awkwardly and I feel this word is the issue. Not sure though. I love the word choice and arrangement here - it continues the sadness in the reader whilst also providing exposition which appears to be necessary for this piece.

His smiles are captured in solitude,
the sense of his tender skin-
often missed,
he wishes for a touch of care-
often overlooked.

^^
I feel with the line: 'he wishes for a touch of care' you are merely repeating yourself from the previous stanza but in a different arrangement of words. I'm not sure whether this was intentional or unrealised..? Let's say it was intentional - obviously this aspect of the old man's life is important and as you said 'overlooked' - there is great significance here, like due to this lack of care, more sorrow will only come as in his days being numbered perhaps? Or perhaps simply that because of this lack of care, his last days were horrible for him.

He remembers his days of hard work,
his dedication for his small family
which no one remembers,
everyone just forgot him;
just like his aging years.

^^
This is a sad reality isn't it. For all our lives we work hard, then we retire, but our families are just beginning to thrive themselves, to have their own lives and families and in the process forget about the old man that cared for his children.
I like the last line, though I'm not entirely able to understand it. My brain isn't working well this morning, haha. I feel it is something simple yet with such significance. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think it is that he died younger than he was meant to because of the aforementioned lack of care and love from his family and therefore it was almost like the last years of his life were forgotten because they were erased..? I don't know.

Overall, I absolutely adore this piece.

Five/Five