Still can't sleep

It's 3am and everyone is asleep
I'm still wide awake, sitting at my computer screen
watching the blinking line before me
wondering what feelings to express this evening
still can't sleep
it's been quite sometime now
since i remember falling asleep
with an smile upon my face
still can't sleep
there is just too much on my mind
the pressure of "life" and "happiness"
is still always haunting me
memories come flashing before me each night
recalling those nights
where i wasn't alone
a girl laying next to me
with a smile on her face
while she fell asleep next to me
that image will never parish
it will never go away
maybe I'm just scared to fall asleep
thinking that I'll forget those past feelings
of the girl that was next to me
still can't sleep
I'm scared of losing that important meaning
these cold and painful feelings
it's not letting me fall asleep
when will i ever fall asleep again?
not alone and cold
but as a couple
who had nothing more to lose?
this isn't a dream
this is my own reality
I'll never sleep again
I'll never understand
what true love truly means...