I always love reading military love pieces, they always hold a special place in my heart.

I'm going to be honest, I think it needs some work structural wise. Maybe break it down into stanzas? It would be a lot less confusing for the reader. Also, some punctuation is definitely needed.

I'm usually not much on repetition..but it works here... it's kinda catchy, kind of like a song. So, maybe that's what you were going for?

So, fixing those few little errors, no biggie...it could help this poem out a lot. I really do like it, it's special and from the heart.

Keep writing! :)

Thanks I'll work on it

Thanks I'll work on it