Within the throws of the overwhelming emotional rollercoaster that I have previously suffered,
I found love in the least likely of places.
Depression covered me like a thick blanket made of lead.
And all I could see was the suffering in my children's faces.
You were there for me when it was completely unnecessary.
You listened to my oceans of whining of a broken heart;
What he did to me.
Every single time I pushed you away,
with reasons seemingly logical in my mind,
You pulled me closer to your embrace.
And now I am lucky enough to call you mine.
You've recreated my point of view on love.
You make me feel like I am worth more than what I have been handed.
I have been entertaining thoughts of you for, honestly, months.
You got me to open up to you; my walls have been dropped and stranded.
Now I want nothing more than to stand by your side,
and to raise our children; to give them a better life.
Every time I inhale, my emotional attachment to you becomes more intense.
It's overwhelming me, from the inside out, as I lay in this bed... alone.
I try to feel you holding me against your chest, your hot breath on my neck.
And I will hold onto this thought until the day that you finally get to come home.
I have met the most amazing man I could ever ask for. He has blindly helped me let go of and forgive the past, and to live for right now, and for our future. He gave me the time I needed, and hasn't given up on me, when by now most men would. I had left the idiot I had married and had children by, and was completely torn about it. Which is why there is so much mentioning of depression. Chris has saved me in so many ways. I'm to the point where I clean my house spotless, and don't even realize it when I am doing it, because all I am thinking about is him, and it puts me in autopilot. Right now he is living on base halfway across the country, but I am more than willing to wait for him to come home, no matter how long it takes. He is the perfect man for not only me, but my two children, who's "Father" doesn't want them.
The only way I could ever be happier is when he is finally out, and we are creating our little happy mess together. <3
