Special Stars ( Musette )

by Baby Rainbow   Oct 25, 2012


Dark night
with starry skies
so bright,

shine down
and turn around
my frown.

Stay strong,
twinkling all
night long.

Saffie
21

23/10/12

0


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Latest Comments

  • 12 years ago

    by Xanthe

    This is soothing somehow. The message fits nicely with the form you've used.

    "Dark night"

    I like how you started it off with these two words. The night is somewhat associated with sadness and using dark added hopelessness.
    With life poems, I can't immediately tell whether they'd be inspirational or hopeless. It is always revealed in the end.
    The title is neutral; kind of in between those two variables when I first read it.

    "Stay strong,"

    Those stars may be metaphors for people who've helped you, cared for you, and been there for you in times of need. And these two words show that you also care for them.

    "twinkeling all"

    twinkling?

    The rhymes were also very effective although they are quite overused; fitting, nonetheless.
    Enjoyed reading.

  • 12 years ago

    by L

    Very good, just a tiny typo in this stanza

    Stay srtong,
    twinkeling all
    night long.

    -- It should be strong. The stars are our sources of inspiration, they are great friends.