Awww this is heartbreaking Tony.

Her eyes open to welcome a dark reality,
tubes cover her body, she feels two legs
but only one is visible
^^
Guessing this part is about someone with a proshetic leg? Which is so sad because there are so many people out there who were dancers, runners, atheletes of any kind who give up because of it....but really, we see all these people who strive while having one real leg and accomplish so much!

Beautiful poem.

This is such an interesting poem...

I was really mesmerized by the story you told in this poem.. I liked the dramatic opening line. It captivated me as the reader and made me want to read more.

I love imagery you created, and it was really a nice poem until the end of course... it got tragic, but the ending still seems hopeful because of the last line "That moment she swears she will open
her wings and sore once again."

So I like the optimism at the end!

Well done :)

Mercy this is beautiful!!! The lines of the dancing swans and open arms are truly magical in every line... this is elegant!!

Ok so don't take this the wrong way but this poem reminds me of the movie Barbie and Swan Lake. That is a good thing because even at this age, I love that movie.
This poem is... very interesting. I like the comparison between a swan and seems like a woman. I love the very happy, clean and very happy beginning and all. The way you describe the dancing was beautiful. You can picture a pure white ball room with walls of glass... it's a magnificent sight.
Then things get bad, but you transition so flawlessly. Just... great. And even though you don't simply state the issue, the reader gets the clear picture. You also talk about how she feels two legs but only one is visible and that is... I don't know. Just a great thing to put into it because a lot of people who do lose their leg still feels it. But you probably already know that.
And the last two lines ties deeply into the title. That bit of blind optimism and the "unfinished swan". They are determined to finish what they started.... Just a lovely poem. Evokes a lot of imagery.

I like the way you use the image of crystal white wings to describe this woman and her graceful art of dance.

Then you nail the reader in the third stanza, where it becomes clear that tragedy has stuck her. =/

And you described the phantom feeling of both legs, when reality is, she has just one.

I really enjoyed the transition from the memories of what it felt like for this woman to perform and how despite the horrific realization of what has happened, she vows to feel beautiful again.

Nice write Tony =)

P.S. only thing, sore should be soar.

Ok, so I have to say the first line of your poem really jumped at me and I paused for a while before I actually read on. This is very true for me in the way that one day changed my whole life, and I assume for many others there will be that day too. So even without reading on, this line alone speaks out volumes to the reader and makes them think.

AS for the story, it is very sad to think of someone being in this situation, I think you captured it well what they would think and feel about becoming disabled and perhaps even never walking again. As for the tubes in her, this created clearly the image of her lying in a hospital bed, maybe after a car crash or some incident which is left to the readers imagine to work out.

What is really heartbreaking is that she was dreaing of dancing because maybe that is her love, her passion or career but whatever it is obviously affects her greatly that she has to face the fact she might be unable to do this.

I like at the end how you use wings and soar, because to get better maybe she has to have faith in this dream of recovery and be able to dance freely again.

Beautiful idea and really creative poem, well done T.

Tony, as promised I am commenting on this piece and IT IS AMAZING! That's the first thing, the title reminded me of "The Black Swan", an awesome film if you've seen it, you'll know, if not, get it LOL

One day changed her whole world.

^This statement was really strong, and to start the piece off with this, really struck out, I know this, one day can change everything for the good or for the worse.

The light shines upon her crystal
white wings,the sweetest of melodies
Fills the room while she dances so
graciously with her compelling beauty.

^The imagery here was soft and gentle, it wasn't vivid as I would have liked but sometimes you don't need that, I was drawn towards an angel, and then with the dancing, I thought fairy but wither way, it was a beautiful stanza

A thousand hands clap as she completes
the dance, her name reverberating
through out the world, finally she is
catapulted up among the brightest stars.

^^^Then I think of a ballerina in a costume, you know, a dancer, like the film "The Black Swan", as I said, its' awesome. I love the use of "thousand" and "brightest", it gives it that detail that a lot of poems miss

Her eyes open to welcome a dark reality,
tubes cover her body, she feels two legs
but only one is visible -

^^^I think of her in an accident, and now dancing with a prosthetic limb, a sad but strong image, but also an image of hope

That moment she swears she will open
her wings and soar once again.

^^And that power, and strength in the end was amazing

Tony, like I said at the beginning, I loved this piece because of the strength and the softness to the tone, and how it flowed and told a story.

A true piece of elegance and talent
x

Love the first line, it is like 'bang'

You can sense she still drifts back and enjoys those memories when she was able to dance...then the harsh reality hits hard when she wakes.

very sad and some great metaphors throughout.

nice write.

Ok so there isnt much to say that hasnt been said but i have to say the images you draw here are awesome, one of my favs of yours to date...it makes me wonder what prompted this from you, you have used some great word choices here that make the whole piece flow really well and graceful just as a dancer should be....great write me old mucker :)

Ok so there isnt much to say that hasnt been said but i have to say the images you draw here are awesome, one of my favs of yours to date...it makes me wonder what prompted this from you, you have used some great word choices here that make the whole piece flow really well and graceful just as a dancer should be....great write me old mucker :)

The first line is beyond powerful. It lets you know that someone drastic has happened to alter her life. It just takes one day, actually just a second to change someones life.

Great imagery describing her dancing, you can tell it's her passion... and then of the audience clapping and chanting her name.
Maybe she was dreaming? Since she woke up and was in a dark hospital room, with tubes all around her...and only one leg.
I like the mention of her feeling two legs but only have one... my mother had one of her legs amputated and she said all the time that she still felt it, that it still hurt her.

The ending is beautiful... it shows determination that she will once again dance, somehow, someway. Very touching.