Comments : Faceless

  • 12 years ago

    by Blood of a Lion

    I like this piece. It says everything and yet nothing about you.

    Keep it up!

    • 12 years ago

      by Aubrey

      Thanks...its good to know

  • 11 years ago

    by zombiepikachu

    I must say, the title got me really excited. This is a beautiful, short little poem.
    However:
    "showen" should be "shown"
    And in this line, "even when u all assumed everything was
    fine" I think you should fix the error, and add the "yo" instead of just writing "u". Unless this was intentional for some reason, and if so, could I know why?
    I think that somehow something is missing from this line, "but only in my world a I safe" what did you mean to put here?
    Also, why did you capitalize the "No" in the third line? I am just curious, as capitalization usually brings emphasis and if you wanted to bring emphasis, I wonder why you wanted it on this word?
    All in all, I think it is short and sweet. It doesn't sound too cliche, and the rhyming doesn't sound silly. However, sometimes I think we can all strengthen our poetry by not being so direct.
    Keep up the good work c:

    • 11 years ago

      by Aubrey

      Thanks....I'll look over it....

  • 11 years ago

    by Someone Invisible

    I like this poem. it lets youknow but leaves you guessing still.