Appreciated bygones

I remember crying once...and no,
it wasn't a soft cry, it was a river of tears
flooding the bridge of my nose,
collapsing me into nothing but ruin
and defeat.

I felt lost with no path to follow
except the one I drew with chalk
to play hop scotch when I was five.
Even that path stopped at number ten.

I fell in love with boys who tasted
like strawberries in the summer.
An electric combination of
sweet and sour that
ignited my senses,
at the time.

I stayed out at night and let
the darkness hug my neck
in an offensive attempt
to greet me.

I smelled of distraction and chaos.
Anxiety turned into an
EKG test and a bottle of pills-
that I refused to take.

How can I forget?
Moments of yesteryear were building blocks
that led to this future and every
winding road, wrong boy, strong drink
has paved my way to success.

Perhaps I'll revisit the past and pay my respects
to their dead memories. Thank them
for the harmful nights I spent praying
would end.

Confidence has grown every day since
I've stayed sober from their poison.