Sigh...you are one hell of a writer saff, this poem really touched me it is so sad and i can imagine how hard some of these must be to write. They are always hard for me to comment on because i know what a kind nature you have, just know i always read them and i think your awesome x

Saffi , this was awesome I think
You wrote this amazingly this just show
The talent we have in the free spirits

The opening lines were heartbreaking ...

Pieces like this break my heart! this one made me angry with the person you're talking about and I have no idea why!! :O

Maybe it is just the effect of beautiful poetry,
the greatness of the words,
the construction of the lines,
what else to say?

simply brilliant!

OMG SAFFFFIIEEEE

Get it girrrlllll!!

Sigh* if a man did this to you.....I'm whoopin arse

Love love love this..

Honestly I cant break it down. As a whole, this is epicccc. You're awesome :)

Saffie, this piece was heartbreakingly sad, and I feel for you if you are writing from experience, and if you are not then you added really strong emotions into the piece,

I'm not sure the flow was smooth all the way through, especially where you started on "Guilty", with the full stops, it seemed to be too neat there, I would have like it to flow into the next line easier.

But otherwise a really nice piece, strong, and emotionally powerful.
x

The emotion... as always you always capture the emotion that you hold deep within and pour it into every word you write. This is particularly heartbreaking for it speaks of your past, present and future pain. Such a feeling as you describe.. that feeling of guilt when it is not yours to be felt, of unworthiness... these are something which should not be felt by anyone, particularly someone so young and full of life.

Your skilled-ability to write acrostics always amazes me, when by now it surely shouldn't. But it seems you always get better with the next piece you post. As I believe I've said before, to me acrostics often lack emotion, but you have the rare talent to overcome this obstacle and pour your heart out to the world. I hope with every word, line, poem you write, your darkest thoughts slowly ease in due time.

Suggestions... perhaps you intended this, but I feel as though with the use of the fullstops in lines 4-6 make it seem very final, non-negotiable kind of, perhaps even a little too straightforward. I think in regards to the content, these lines don't really need fullstops at the end, almost like you are showing an unfinished thought or emotion with each line. I don't know really know how to explain it. Ignore me if I've just spoken jibberish.

Your opening line was breathtaking - it instantly grabs the reader as it is intended to do. Your closing line puts everything into perspective, and sums up the emotions and content perfectly - again as it is intended to do.

I particularly adored the line:

'Labelled with dirty tags stitched with my past'

^^
My saying that almost appears sadistic, but I don't love it for the content, I love it for all the emotion and content of that one line. With eight words you say so much, but also leave so much unspoken. Truly incredible talent.

Overall;
The acrostic flowed really smoothly with an appropriate rhythm, gave enough detail to present images as well as the intended emotion.

Take care Saffie, there are many of us here on P&Q who are here for you. x

Five/five

I liked it . it reminded me of a prostitutes perspective. sorry if im completely wrong. but thats what it reminded me of. truly sad. but i liked the meaning to it .