Little mermaid.

Little mermaid,
i am no more.
since i was washed up,
on the sea shore.

"This opening indicates that the speaker
Is/ was a mermaid, this was very simple
But worked with the rhyming scheme"
-----------------------------

my middle name is ariel.
hair red as blood.
i ran away from home
for a guy i saw once..

" I don't know at this point if you are writing
About the Disney little mermaid but if you are
I believe Ariel is her first name( not 100% sure)
If not then its fine , this tells the speaker that
She longed for a love nobody in her family could
Accepted"

-------------------------------
i was in love.
i sang my song.
i love his jet black hair.
he has been looking for me.
my song stuck in his head.
he cannot find me.
even though i hide so close,

"This stanza has too much going on for me, with
Such little imagery"

-------------------------
i come out of hiding,
he finds me at last.
he belives im fragile,
like a piece of glass,
i am not fragile,
i am pretty strong,
for keeping my composure,
all along.

"i don't know if you meant to rhyme here but for me it changes the poem completely, I think it's tidier when
You keep the same structure and rhyming"
--------------------------------
we sing the same song,
we are completely in love,
nobody can stop us,
even from above.
--------------------------
"The ending first two lines I thought were very
Touching but because of the rhyming here you were
Very limited on the last two lines and it felt
Abit forced"
---------------------------
"I liked the story, if you work on the structure and stick
To the same form it would be better for the flow , also
Capitalize your I's , this is just my opinion , I only want to help :)

Keep writing
Tony :)