by silvershoes Nov 12, 2012
category :
Sadness, depression /
grieving, loss
Yesterday |
by mossgirl19
Breathtaking imagery and flowed like water! Great piece! |
Wow... This really, really is beautiful. The way it flows is... Phenomenal. You paint a picture in my mind, and I feel the emotion in the poem, strongly. There aren't many writers like you, anymore. But it makes me happy that I have started to find a few talented poets on this site c: great job! |
This is so haunting Jane...I apologize for not reading it before! First, congratulations on the win and I want to say something about this strikes me as archaic. Like something I'd pick up an a leather-bound notebook and find in the back of it......the whole atmosphere is cold to me, like there's an obvious mist in your life, and all you can utter is tomorrow, knowing there will be one. But the reason and meaning and definition behind is unknown for now. I love your wording, it struck emotion within me, simply taking my thoughts for a journey through this life. Really neat how you structured this, I enjoyed reading it so much! The last stanza lingered in my mind. Especially what Yaki quoted. These ghosts, this past is so far behind you, almost impossible to become tangible again, it seems illusory. But then you give a small flutter of thoughts that maybe they can still be reclaimed. Whether that's getting out of this darkness and opening up a new part of your heart, or hoping again for some freedom, to realize who you are....it's amazing what you have made me ponder. It's so brilliantly inquisitive and unique; the depth within your words are beautiful. I liked the title instantly and I think it ties in with the poem. I mean, it could be the bigger-picture progression of your character, or your existence on earth, what will fill your heart instead of the hollowness you see and possibly remember from the last goodbye of this person. Truly glad to have read this, thanks for sharing.. |
Jane, |
by Tara Kay
What struck me in this piece was the journey I was taken on, through the past until the present and how the future was being decided at that point, there was such a sadness in this piece that touched me greatly but also a hope that was shining through which was beautiful. |