I hate myself. There I said it. Not just because I don't have a flat stomach or nice legs or the biggest breasts, but because I can't make anyone happy for a long time. Or I do but I don't accept that I can actually do something right. I've been raised thinking I am not good enough at anything and for anyone. I was put down and made fun of and I ended up finding faults and flaws in everything I do. I don't think I can ever feel good enough. I hear about people being happy and I wonder if that can actually happen. I don't know what being happy with no serious problems feels like. I can't bring myself to believe anything I ever do is making you or anyone else happy. I hate that. I hate how I don't see what you and a few other people see. I hate that I believe the worst about myself. I hate that I can't let it be in the past and stop crying over things you may think are stupid and not true. I hate telling you these when we could just be enjoying each other's company, telling jokes, sharing videos, talking about our future. I hate me and everything I do.
How long do you think you an stay near that kind of a person? I'm a wreck, I am doing nothing right, I break down almost every night and I make you feel bad and blame yourself for my faults. Aren't I a terrible person?
