Comments : The sandman(acrostic mix)

  • 12 years ago

    by Tara Kay

    Tony...this was both uplifting, strong, and emotional...
    You just killed that contest with these awesome skills...Amazing!

    Wow

  • 12 years ago

    by Darren

    Tony this is great, nice to see you playing about with forms.

    there is a lot of emotion in this.

    love how your priorities change as the poem progresses
    awesome write

  • 12 years ago

    by PinkyPrincess

    Wow!!! I love this poem!!! I really enjoyed it from start to finish.

    The quote in the beginning was perfect. Simple and to the point - and it drew me in as the reader. I really love how you wrote this poem... it just all linked perfectly. I think we could all relate to it in a way, because we all wish there was world peace, and all the conflicts such as hunger and poverty could be solved. But realistically it's too difficult to change it all.

    I like how you state that your dream is simple and then you explain what it is, which is really sweet and romantic.

    Lastly - I love the ending! I like the cyclical structure here... it really made the poem more powerful and touching.

    I was moved by this poem... <3

  • 12 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    I really liked this poem, it did have a simliar feel to what mine was. I thought you took the challenge and made it into something very positive and creative. I liked the form you picked, using the acrostic.

    Thank you for sharing this, I am sure it will make others feel better if they read this and are feeling a bit hopless.

  • 12 years ago

    by Hannah Lizette

    This is really creative! i love the acrostic inside the poem, as well as the quote at the beginning and how you incorporated it in the ending!

    moving piece, love it

  • 11 years ago

    by Liz

    "Memories will forever disappear
    Slowly, unless you give them life."

    These lines really spoke to me. I loved the whole poem, but those lines especially..

  • 11 years ago

    by Marcy Lewis

    There's a few punctuation errors, but I really don't feel like pointing them out. Just spaces after commas, and check the apostrophe situation. :p This poem is overall, very beautiful. The title is very creative in with the whole sleeping/dream thing.

    First stanza: I like that you stated the world's dream thing. How all wishes are generally the same when you wish for the world. Peace, full bellies, bravery and such. But you wrote it in a way that made it more than just the over-said versions. It made an impact. Those things never fail to push on my heart. The world is an unfair place. If only the shooting stars worked, eh?

    Second stanza: So true. If I were being honest, I'd say I'd still totally like to do that, in a sense. Every child's dream is to one day be a superstar.

    Third stanza: What we wish for when we turn into grown ups. You're basically just summing up MY thoughts, so I'm generalizing that you're speaking for every mind, but still. To have a spouse, and children, and making a NEW life, is what so many people hope and wish for. I do find it odd that you're wording this very simply, and no part of it is stale. Props.

    Going for the glory, and going to make a change, impact, do what you want is a very inspiring thing. Doing it with the incentive of changing the lives of others is even better.

    Great piece.<3