by A Poets Handwriting aka ALISHA Nov 15, 2012
category :
Nature, environment /
nature
The air is unsullied with city pollution. A rough darkness shelters the wildlife made by an umbrella of tall thick-trunked trees. Like embers of a flickering fire, the narrow pathway is strewn with fresh-fallen leaves, as limbs begin to undress in slow motion. An orchestra of birdsong can be heard above relaxed footsteps, and rustling in the underbrush gives belief of its refuge for small mammals. Intervals of sunlight shine through like a beacon from Heaven or an angel's descent... |
by NobodyKnowsItButMe
The poem starts with an impact (negative) of civilization on the nature, which is one of the reasons I'm appealed to read as well as comment. |
by ArtistrySoul
I very well written piece you have here :) |
NICE rewrite! You set me right in the middle of that forest & I see, hear & feel what you do. |
by Mohan
Very clever |
Well done. You might reduce the wordiness ofthe prose. I like Hellon's suggestion of incomplete sentences, but avoid making it so terse it comes across as staccato. |