Your effect (Chained haiku)

by Khalid M Darwish   Nov 15, 2012


Nodes in your eyebrows
increase my life path roughness
with no sympathy

Strong gazing at me
kills my masculinity
taking my braveness

You seem can't see me
While I seem filling your eyes
How'd I make you blind?

I'm your weak partner
While being crushed by your arts
Remnants of your prey

    report violation
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Latest Comments

  • 12 years ago

    by PinkyPrincess

    Wow.. this was a really interesting chained haiku! I should try this sometime :)

    I like how you describe this person... it seems like it could be a woman or a man, I kind of like the mystery of not knowing who it is, and this person seems intimidating, and powerful. Someone you may fear...

    I think it's well-written and a mysterious poem! My only concern is with this part:

    "You seem not seeing"

    ^^ I just feel like it doesn't make much sense, but I think I do get what you mean. Maybe you could rephrase this part to make it clearer to the reader?

    Just a suggestion.

    Great job Khalid!

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