Comments : Mutiny

  • 12 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    I fell hard as lightning striking
    through cottonfields, fighting like
    daisies beneath my feet.

    There is no other way.

    - This opening is so deep and describes such a fierce battle which you are going through. You feel like you have feel so far that you cannot get back up. and you cannot see a way out of this and to pick yourself back up again.I could imagine the daises panicking when the lightning strikes and the fear they must feel.

    My life often butterflies by my eyes as
    I feel the burning flash in the pan.

    When my breath stops I cannot speak.

    - This is such a sad way to see our life, it does happen all too often, many will relate to these lines.

    Heartbreak like a mountain-side avalanche,
    a poisoning, indelible ink upon my skin.

    - This line creates the imagary so strong of a heart breaking as fast as a land slide would come down in an avalanche. It made me think again of fast as lightning, and how devastating it is when these disasters happen.

    Everyday pain feeds the sleeping memory inside-

    - I love this line <3 I can relate to this part and know exactly what you mean xx

    Some in great ocean waves, others
    raining pitter-patter...

    - This relates tot he good days and bad days, sometimes it is like mega waves, and other times it is like spots of rain, but either way it reminds you of the memories all the same.

    Fearful the stars could rain on my callous
    soul and I'd feel like still waters.

    - This makes me just want to hug you. I think for me, I was drawn to this line because I got an image of the stars falling as rain and stars falling is a sign of hopelessness to me, like giving up.

    Stale words float inside me, gnaw
    through me, beaconing a way out.

    - I can imagine what these words might be, and all I can say is there are much better words which will come along and these,m in time, will over power the words of your past.

    I want to rise again.

    To walk across the world with armies of
    Edelweiss, shielding against the blows
    delivered onto we that are broken.

    - You will rise again, no one can keep you down, you are much stronger than you believe you are.

    Love this poem, well done xx