Banalities

"This is such a heartfelt poem that I can't help but smile when reading, even though the poem is filled with such sorrow, as the emotion throughout is so easy to feel. The author has a wonderful way with words and the imagery portrayed throughout leaves the reader easily able to picture what the author is describing.

My favourite part was the mention of how the author likes coffee but the person they are writing to does not. It's such a simple thing and probably relate-able to many people, yet the way the author paints the picture and captures this here is something unique and something I have not seen/read before.

The closing is filled with such bitterness and sorrow, that I found it stayed with me long after reading. It's always difficult when we wait for someone to return home, for whatever reason, and they never do and the author really manages to capture the heartache and pain that stems from wanting someone to come home, yet they never do, so perfectly here."

:)

I've read this poem... 3 times now? I think. Something like that.
I find you try to write in a way that makes you feel like you're distancing yourself from the situation.
But you can't run away from it either, so you pull out a coffee and sip while the Titanic sinks more or less.
Either way 5/5

Jenni :)

As far as the poem, it is far from banal - something I was certainly not expecting at all. But of course, your poems are always so unique, I think I was just expecting something a little cliche, even your word choices aren't that overused, not uncommon either. The way you use them are so creative, and your style exudes from this piece.

"Romancing about three empty verses,
that warpaint every piece of me
with a minor reflection of blindness.
I bathe in the stock of our yesterday."

Great opening stanza, as always. Three empty verses - "I love you" - first came to mind. Not sure. The way you wrote that seems hopeless, but not coming close to desperation either. Warpaint - shows uncertainty, a conflict, even. Piece of me - shows that it is with yourself. I absolutely love the last verse here. It is unique, and made me picture a cold, day-old soup.

Throughout the poem, you used words that portray the banalities of life - your life; routine. It makes it somewhat personal. Yesterday-familiar-backwards-always ...
All points to how all of these happen everyday.

The second stanza, I found very nostalgic. Coffee, for me, is something I associate with my childhood.

"You turn/the crank and scent backwards/while once interweaves with now."
^
This was rather confusing for me, though. Not sure of what it means. Scent - sent?

"Every tremble ignored, you continue
to flour because you love the taste
of fresh coffee, but I didn't."

I've never read 'flour' used as a verb. Very intriguing. I think tremble shows the persona's fear, coffee - metaphor for the fear itself. Ignored - sort of shows that this said person does know about your fear, but he remains oblivious.

The third stanza and the final verse are the saddest for me. I loved how you separated the last verse, btw. Made me think this happens every night. Then he leaves, not literally, perhaps. Maybe who he was before? This said person seems cold and grew distant now.

excellent piece, as always.

Jen this was awesome , you ave a way with
Word you don't post many but when you do there flawless :)

Awesome :)

You know, its really your own fault if peopel cant properly comment on your poems. You go forever without posting one, then when you do you just totally nail it!! How can someone break this down and tell you what they loved? I love every bit...your statements, followed by the opposite of what you state is awesome!

ughhh I wish I could say more but really you shock me every time. Love your work so much!