Comments : Disintegrate

  • 12 years ago

    by Darren

    Nice

    clever imagery throughout and I love how the line

    'Like the sharpest dagger piercing through my chest'

    is the one that makes the tip of the blade in this piece, very clever.

    only nit, line 4 pieces looks a bit crazy ; )

  • 12 years ago

    by ah satan 666

    Hats off to you, for setting a scene missy...
    Your wording makes it very easy to paint a picture,

    "Snap.
    My heart
    has just shattered
    into a thousand pieces"

    ^^ I like the way you project, how brittle and fragile a person heart can be.

    Very sad piece,
    Xx

    Edit: also your layout looks like a shard of glass.

  • 12 years ago

    by Wild flower

    Wow this is a really sad piece, but you nailed it, you wrote a perfect poem, I love your choice of words:)
    Great job..

  • 12 years ago

    by Chelsey

    Ooooo0o0 Look at my girl go :) I totally loved the layout of this shaped like a blade, and you want to know something?? I sent Jenni a stanza for a poem called "disintegrate" and she never sent one back for a collab! I hope you read this Jen and realize our idea is now crumbled because Saffie killed it!! LOL

    anywho, I just found that ironic....The layout was sort of in a disintegrating manner and that was a nice touch to this piece. The words fall down like the blood your describing..interesting.

    Well done hun!

  • 12 years ago

    by The Poet Behind The Poems

    Awesome imagery here , I think
    You have excelled your self here
    I love it :)