Insanity of your Reality

I have a lot to say about this piece, (don't freak out like 90% of it is good) First though, let me say that the title is amazing. It is what caught my eye to even read this piece.

Next, I'm going to dissect your poem... just to point out examples of each wonderful technique you display for all the world to see.

I sit alone and cold in the darkness
Never thought it would end up like this
Snatching at whispers in the wind
Piecing together what has been broken
As I attempt to flee this pain
And pretend to be of the sane

^^ This is an excellent way to start a poem. It is direct to the audience, and it shows exactly what it needs to in order to grasp us and not cast us away or tell too many secrets just yet. The voice and tone have been set up and it makes the piece a little more real (sorry if that doesn't make any sense...) But I like this stanza. Fantastic job ^-^

And in this concept of insanity
I find what I call my reality

^^ I love this part, personally it's something I can relate to and it says a lot about the character or you in the terms of this piece. I like the subtle off rhyme too. Nice touch.

This winding path seems to never end
Finding misery and pain at every bend
And reasons not to hope and dream
No matter how great they may seem
They will prove to contain within
The blunt of God's cruelest sin

^^ WOW!!! This stanza has massive amounts of intense imagery that really stands out. The wording makes sense but is unique enough to add flavor. Great job.

And in this concept of insanity
I find what I call sanctuary

^^ This is a nice way to connect your last thought to the next. I applaud you for the almost repetition from earlier. (I know it isn't supposed to be the same as earlier I just mean style wise good choice)

So why continue down this path
Signing away my own blood bath
I'm done with playing this game
For, I tell you, it is truly insane
I set down my sword and armor
I shall walk this path no longer

^^ Here we are winding to the end and it is so clear how you feel. Again stunningly vivid imagery in absolutely no words at all. This one is great.

And in your concept of reality
I find what I call insanity

^^ Perfect way to end!!! This is my favorite stanza in the entire piece. Oh my gosh I love this. It ties up everything so perfectly.

Before I continue on I have to say you have an amazing talent for words.

The emotion in this piece is oozing out in such a way that the audience really gets what you are expressing. The word choice is beautiful in the fact each word carries so much with it (in the very best way I mean.) This piece is absolutely stunning. Great job.

Sorry it was so long. Really enjoy the piece.

Very nice:)

I like these line the most:
"This winding path seems to never end
Finding misery and pain at every bend
And reasons not to hope and dream
No matter how great they may seem
They will prove to contain within
The blunt of God's cruelest sin
And in this concept of insanity
I find what I call sanctuary"
Beautifully written!

I have to admit, the title captured my attention. It was simple; I sometimes write about the reality of things, reality of certain situations and how it can be unsettling. How reality could possibly seem so unreal. It just really set the atmosphere for this piece about not just feeling a sort of confusion, but having your expression tinged with darkness, uncertainty for what's ahead.

"I sit alone and cold in the darkness
Never thought it would end up like this
Snatching at whispers in the wind
Piecing together what has been broken
As I attempt to flee this pain
And pretend to be of the sane"

Good opening stanza, I like the consistency with which you write, each line flows beautifully to the next and it kind of reads to me like song lyrics...

The "Snatching at whispers in the wind" brought that image to my mind, something intangible, the wind, being able to be called to, trying to reach that something.

"And in this concept of insanity
I find what I call my reality"

I like how these two lines stand alone, it makes a statement and affirms that connection between insanity and reality. Concept made me think here....it is like you are truly living out a true, what you believe to be true, insanity. These feelings are yours and you express them clearly.

"This winding path seems to never end
Finding misery and pain at ever bend
And reasons not to hope and dream
No matter how great they may seem
They will prove to contain within
The blunt of God's cuelest sin"

Second line: "ever" should be "every"
Last line: "cuelest" should be "cruelest"
I liked the aspect you took here of having reasons not to be able to hope and dream, that was interesting, like you are so far apart from that.

"And in this concept of insanity
I find what I call sanctuary"

Neat take on this, it's definitely a bit of a twist. Especially with the word "sanctuary", a beautiful word I really don't come across too often.

"So why continue down this path
Signing away my own blood bath
I'm done with playing this game
For, I tell you, it is truly insane
I set down my sword and armor
I shall walk this path no longer"

My only suggestions would be to add question marks to really engage the reader more, get them asking themselves and possibly add punctuation after "armor". Making that last line an action in itself.

Well-expressed with a lot of simple images, that still had a impact, the sword and armor was strong in my mind, like there is a defence system going on here...

Nice repetition of those two lines too. Not overly done in my opinion. Good write, glad I came across this!

Hey..hey..I liked this one,
hmm....seems like Im familiar of this path !
The blend of darkness u expressed with ur rythmics is noteworthy.
Well,bout write-Its Insanely wonderful !!
I'll expect some more works from u,
Appreciated !!