Do you want to know a secret that I've kept to myself,
That only I know and no one else,
How my smile is fake filled with hopeless joy,
Keeping everything locked inside me even when I was a boy,
How at night I wish I wasn't here,
Finally understanding how I live with no fear,
Crossing streets looking down with no worry,
Hoping a car will end it, sending me away from here in a hurry,
Wishing Hell would be my home forever,
Endless torment to my flesh stopping never,
No more worries, giving up all hope,
Never finding a balance on this slippery slope,
Saddness is pleasure the only thing that keeps me sane,
Depression is a gift making my life not seem so invein,
Pain is uplifting leaves me singing in the rain,
Suffering brings a smile to my face praying death would pass me again,
This is my life as sad as it sounds,
Living on this world holding no bounds,
No pity parties for me, I'll try to hold everything together,
All I can do is live and hope it gets better.
