Dont Quite Understand

I dont know how to describe it,
The way Ive felt lately,
Im not sure how to explain it,
No one seems to care for me.

But it doesnt seem to bother,
doesnt seem to have any effect,
on my feelings and emotions,
others probably think I'm pathetic.

Im not sure who I am,
Or why I happen to be here,
Im not sure why I write,
seems to be my only cure.

I remember when I was young,
Writing page to page,
Notebook to notebook,
It was my own creative cave.

Ive just felt so empty,
Cant seem to smile anymore,
My happiness has closed,
there is no open door.

I dont care for anyone,
Im always in a bad mood,
I can barely make myself laugh,
This is a different attitude.

Everyone just makes me mad,
And no one has the key,
I dont seem to get it,
What is wrong with me.

I dont quite understand,
How people can be so happy,
Maybe its not them,
Im leaning towards its just me.