Tears run down like a razor blade,
The wind caresses my lips,
My heart on a string left frayed.
Long is the lasting sting of whips......

Wow..Wow..Thats so awesome !
I mean the feel,the expression..its amaizing..
"My heart lost at sea like ships" & perhaps u are able to pen perfectly!

Juss no doubt of ur talent,keep writin!
Appreciated !!

I liked the power of this piece
It had alot of deep emotions
That dripped off the pages.

However I do feel as some of
The rhyming seemed forced
Like they were there just to
Fit, it's only my opinion tho

-------------------------------
My heart will fade
As many a corpse rises from thy' crips,
For no one can aide.
My heart lost at sea like ships.

In this stranza I see a fill like ships
You would normally have to tell us
It's a ship but to rhyme it has to be
Done , I think if this was a non rhyming
Or some parts tidy up and filler words removed
It would be perfect .

Well done with this poem , awesome idea

Keep writing :)

Wow, I really loved this and I mean LOVEd it, wonderful style you have, it is inspirational, I love the plot and so on, wow

I really like your poetic voice. You have a good handle (at least to me) and some of the classic aspects of poetry with your word choice.

My heart lost at sea like ships. --love this line!

z

Good loe

Wow, the details that you put into this piece is amazing. The first lines drew me in, the thought of razor blades running down the softness of my skin describe not only the scars that has been afflicted but also the deep pain that lies within.

I like the imagery this poem creates in my mind and the emotions that your words awaken.

This piece is deep and sad ,but also it is a great poem.So I like it!Well written!