Dying

I think many teenagers can relate to these feelings. When you are that age, you have many highs and lows in your life. One minute you can feel like you're dying, the next you are happy. So, just remember that things aren't always going to be bad. It will get better. :)

A few things I want to point out... first of all the title... It should be "Dying" and also I think you should not add the dots at the end of it. I think it takes away from the poem.

Also, whenever you use I, it should be capitalized.

I think that the dots work okay in the 5th line... it builds up the anticipation of the last line. However, they are not needed after "I'm dying inside" It should just have one period at the end.

Just a couple corrections :3

*Dying, *Tongue.

I like it, its short and describes a lot in just a couple lines.

Interesting poem here. The form is particularly fascinating, almost descending in a sort of triangular shape after each line, perhaps being of some importance to the writer. the choice of imagery and diction is further well used. Interesting poem,

This small and short poem....tells you more about me...than any other poem i could ever try too write...