Comments : Dying

  • 11 years ago

    by Aubrey

    This small and short poem....tells you more about me...than any other poem i could ever try too write...

  • 11 years ago

    by Timothy

    Interesting poem here. The form is particularly fascinating, almost descending in a sort of triangular shape after each line, perhaps being of some importance to the writer. the choice of imagery and diction is further well used. Interesting poem,

  • 11 years ago

    by Blood of a Lion

    Just a couple corrections :3

    *Dying, *Tongue.

    I like it, its short and describes a lot in just a couple lines.

    • 11 years ago

      by Aubrey

      Thanks guys...lol i told you i cannot spell...:)

  • 11 years ago

    by Hannah Lizette

    I think many teenagers can relate to these feelings. When you are that age, you have many highs and lows in your life. One minute you can feel like you're dying, the next you are happy. So, just remember that things aren't always going to be bad. It will get better. :)

    A few things I want to point out... first of all the title... It should be "Dying" and also I think you should not add the dots at the end of it. I think it takes away from the poem.

    Also, whenever you use I, it should be capitalized.

    I think that the dots work okay in the 5th line... it builds up the anticipation of the last line. However, they are not needed after "I'm dying inside" It should just have one period at the end.

    • 11 years ago

      by Aubrey

      Thanks....I will correct: )