Abstract Strangers

This is perfect! very brilliantly have you given this piece a thought! Its so true and the way you gave in excerpts of various lives and the way they live and their thoughts are nicely showcased!
Keep writing:)

Gracious almight Hannah!!!!!

My stomach is churned, my eyes are full of tears...this saddened me..but I LOVED IT...

OMG the ending, the way you tied in your title was phenominal...I kind of want to recite this, it seems almost like it could be read like a slam poem....just beautiful!! So true, this stuff happens daily and so often people hide it so no one gets in their business, but thats what sucks about hiding it. There might be someone willling to help, yet when you dont let anyone know, you'll never get out of your mess. Which makes it even more pathetic that people don't want to get out of the rut they are in, whatever it may be.

Seriously interesting, sad write. I adore this

Shadiness blurs past inconspicuous strangers,
a color that isn't seen with the naked eye,
it can only be manipulated by poisoned hearts.

- oh , such a powerful opening stanza Hannah. I love the mystery of it, and how you are describing something deeper thanw hat meets the eye. " poisoned hearts" is just so powerful and really stands out to the tone of the poem.

A innocent little girl with a frayed red ribbon in her hair
sings lullabies to her worn teddy bear,
while her mother flirts and flaunts
for the man in a pinstripe business suit,
fumbling just enough money for her fix.

- this is so sad to see this child alone and with her teddy bear as her only comfort, and probably protection and feeling of safety. This part really touched me because I know it happens too often and the addicted parents will do anything to get their "fix" or money or whatever it may be, despite the damage it is going to have on the child. so sad but well portrayed.

Two teenage punks radiate laughter after
stealing a homeless man's rain soaked sign,
he brushes his matted hair with his fingers and sighs.

- what grabbed me most about this is how teenagers often do things for fun but they do not think of the consequences it has to the persons feelings, this not through badness as such but just pure immaturity. It also saddens me that he sighed and didn't react to it, this made me think he was either used to it happened and expecting nothing less, or that he didnt find himself worthy enough or important enough to make a stand or a scene about it, so again very sad stanza and imagery but very well written.

I slip him a few dollars in his plastic cup as I pass by.

- I like this part because it shows that no matter what is going on in life, there are still kind people who take time to do nice gestures and take time to see past what is meeting the eye and have a closer look at the situation. It brings hope to the poem.

A woman holds onto a man whom she calls master,
her silence screams for mercy,
yet a smile spreads across her face when his gaze meets hers,
she can't let outsiders know she's suffering.

- This is so true, people always assume it is what the "victim" wants for their life and it is their choice, but mostly it is not this case at all. They stay through fear and the fact they have no where to go and no one else to support them, once they get drawn in through the evilness of the manipulative minds of their " masters" it is terrifying to even think about breaking free of them.

We are abstract strangers -
we all have something to hide

- love the ending, it really captures the truth of life. How we have this face we put on for others and yet others judge this face just as quickly as they would judge the real face underneath.

The whole poem was a fantastic idea and very creative. You created very powerful images with your wording and description. I loved it <3 Well done. xx

I'm so glad you won that challenge. This is amazing :)

I loved how you described the blurriness of the picture, riddled with strangers, then added emotion to it with "poisoned hearts"

The way you wrote about the people - the strangers - was brilliant. You simply described them, what they were doing that moment you saw them, and left it at that, moving on to the next, and leaving the readers to ponder. It seems one-dimensional, but a closer look would show their story - even just a tiny bit.

"A innocent little girl with a frayed red ribbon in her hair
sings lullabies to her worn teddy bear,
while her mother flirts and flaunts
for the man in a pinstripe business suit,
fumbling just enough money for her fix."

'A' should be: an
I really like this part. Loved the slight rhyme with hair and bear, and the sound of flirts and flaunts. It just sounds so poetic. Moreover, the image you've depicted here has yhe greatest impact on me, as where I am from, I see a lot of these people. They have contrasting characters, but inside, they're all the same. I always feel they're overlooking the present; perhaps looking for distraction, hoping things would get better even when they know the future's hazy.

"Two teenage punks radiate laughter after
stealing a homeless man's rain soaked sign,
he brushes his matted hair with his fingers
and sighs.
I slip him a few dollars in his plastic cup as
I pass by."

Sad scene here. But you show how there's always something good beneath.
I also loved the way you introduced the persona - more than halfway through the piece.

The ending - brilliant. The echo of the title perfectly rounds up the whole piece.

This is so true , it really does give me somthing to think
About I think you got the world bang on , you don't really look around and sometimes we can't see whats really happening

Added to favs and nomination :)