Scream

Hmm very powerful lines,
Keep writing

I think the changes definitely helped, Aubrey. Great job. :)

Lol....I change as few things....because someone told me they did not like all my screaming... lmao... jk

This is definitely powerful, Aubrey. It holds loads of anger that needed to be released by writing this, I think this piece is 'your scream'.

I personally don't like the repetition of scream so much. Don't limit yourself on your vocabulary. A good vocabulary will take an okay poem to a fantastic poem. Just trying to help, btw. I hope you don't get offended. My writing sucked until I started broadening my vocabulary, replacing simple words that is heard frequently with words that are maybe rare or words that speak volumes and really adds to the poem.

So, google a thesaurus and it will help you tremendously.

I think this poem could benefit with some punctuation, as well. And also maybe broken down into separate stanzas once you do that. Like I said, I hope I don't offend you... I know you said "so easy on me" ... I just want to help build you as a writer, I had people help me the same way by giving me pointers and so on... and I thank them for helping me grow as a writer.

Anyway, I've rambled enough I suppose. Like I said, this is a strong emotional write and I'm sorry that you feel this way. Just know that no matter what, everything will be okay. It may not seem like it... but eventually, it will be. If you ever need to talk, I'm just a PM away.

This is the first poem I have ever written about myself...so go easy on me...