I wish I could have chosen her
to help me get through this.
I'm often sitting on my own
wishing she was here.
It feels like one more punishment
in which I must deserve.
To want someone to love me
but to know they never will.
to know that all my pain would heal
if I could let them in,
to understand what kindness is
with no thorned strings attached.
But I have learned my lesson hard
in wishing for something I can't have,
the pain is so unbearable that
it makes me want to die.
Never again would I take the chance
of letting my heart give in.
So many people I have pushed away
because it's dangerous to get close.
I just wish I could have this one
that could make it all okay,
but then receiving happiness
I know I am not allowed.
I just wish I had chosen her
to help me get through this.
That motherly figure of angelic love
who would never of let me down.
