Comments : Omniscient

  • 12 years ago

    by Tara Kay

    Haha...Why do you pen these pieces and make me feel awful for even looking at someone romantically? I know I'll get hurt but isnt a girl allowed some fun in life.
    I know it wasn't intended but this piece just hit me...

    Ughh, you're just so right all the time and I love you.
    xxx

  • 12 years ago

    by The Poet Behind The Poems

    This is so true and people are often blinded by it, I think this gives out a very clear message , open your eyes
    To what it could be, brilliant write chels , awesome :)

  • 12 years ago

    by Liz

    First, I love the way you structured this, very awesome.

    "I know what he'll do...

    Dock his boat at your shore and anchor himself into the sandy heart that you own." -- The wording here was perfect (it was throughout the entire poem), but these lines really stuck out to me.
    This seems like a fair warning from one friend to another. Loved it.

    -Liz

  • 12 years ago

    by Hannah Lizette

    First of all, I love the title... it fits perfectly. Omniscient knows everyone's point of view.

    The format of this poem is very nicely placed, I love how you begin with "I know..." and then the little stanza descends... it works perfectly. You start with three "your" stanzas...and then three "him" ... and then the ending back again to your, which is absolutely amazing, a very smug, kind of rub it in your face ending.

    This reminds me of those times when your friends are so infatuated about a new man in their life... and you try to tell them you know exactly how they are... that type of guy who will get what he wants and leave... but they NEVER listen. Only to have them call a few weeks or months later crying and you have to bite your tongue to keep from saying "I told you so."

    You never fail, Chels! Keep it up!

  • 12 years ago

    by Amreen

    This poem is awesome and also the message it gives. I always find a new perception of things when I read your poetry!
    And I like the form your poem has acquired!
    Gooood one:)
    Keep writing^^

  • 12 years ago

    by Decayed

    This is a very pretty piece.
    Awesome idea.

  • 12 years ago

    by Giegielove Goddess Poet

    Very nice written... 5/5 for you!

  • 12 years ago

    by PinkyPrincess

    Wow! I love this poem! First, I love the structure... it was unique and super interesting. It made the flow of the poem perfect and was really nice on the eyes.

    Now I love the topic of this poem... I like how you're addressing a friend... warning her about the inevitable heartbreak she will face. I really like it because it's coming from a good side... You're just looking out for her and can sense this guy will just use her and break her heart. That is a really nice message to a friend... and whoever it is will appreciate that in the long run.

    Love it... great job hon!

  • 12 years ago

    by PinkyPrincess

    Wow! I love this poem! First, I love the structure... it was unique and super interesting. It made the flow of the poem perfect and was really nice on the eyes.

    Now I love the topic of this poem... I like how you're addressing a friend... warning her about the inevitable heartbreak she will face. I really like it because it's coming from a good side... You're just looking out for her and can sense this guy will just use her and break her heart. That is a really nice message to a friend... and whoever it is will appreciate that in the long run.

    Love it... great job hon!

  • 11 years ago

    by L

    Interesting format, I thought it might be a form poetry but I counted the syllables and it isn't :P
    But interesting content no doubt.

    Congrats on the win!

  • 11 years ago

    by Maple Tree

    Chelsey took this message and blew it out of the water in my opinion.

    We all can relate to this in some form or fashion. Often times in life, when we have somebody come along and teach us the harsh realities of heartbreak, we can either drown in sorrows or possibly express our lessons to others who may see the red flags before it's too late. I adored the format within this piece, and how she tries to express to another soul, that red flags should not be ignored, and possible cushion the fall of heart break. I too can relate to this on a personal level, and that is why I felt so drawn to this piece, it's a painful reality when a person loves you and leaves you like yesterday's news, and in the end, I too wished for the comfort and knowledge of someone who has been there to share with me.. This poem was tastefully written, with a heartfelt tone throughout the entire piece, powerful piece indeed!

  • 11 years ago

    by Karla

    Chels, I really loved your piece."Omniscient" is such a perfect title since it defines perfectly what the lyrical I does: s/he knows everything that will happen either because s/he has already gone through the same kind of situation or maybe because s/he is suspicious about the so-called romantic love. Experience is always what counts in the long run, however, people have to live their own lives to find out their own truths. I must confess I simply loved how you deconstructed the romantic idea of love here. But it is sad to think about a signed, sealed, delivered fate where a woman has no choice but to suffer for being in love with an idiot because she is too blind to see more than her own immediate needs. I'd rather think she dared to love and didn't ask for advice because she already knew the answer. If she had asked for your help, it would have saved her from a valuable mistake and sometimes we do need to err in order to be stronger and learn something useful especially a woman described as "socially inept, emotional wreck, faith forgotten soul that cries at night" starving for attention. She is an easy prey, a pitiful creature too much involved with her low self-esteem but she needs an earthquake to shake her invisible world/life in order to be free from her small ego. After all even we lose, we gain. I also loved the format of your piece and the language. I found it ironic and detached but it adds such a special charm to the poem. The images are flawless:

    I know what he'll do... Dock his boat at your shore and anchor himself into the sandy heart that you own.

    All in all I think your poem is amazing not only for the message it conveys but also for the format and the deconstruction of the myth of romantic love. I suppose love can't be a visceral feeling if one is too much worried about our own needs. If we really want love, we have to give ourselves to its flames completely. Great work Chels. Looooooooooooved it

  • 10 years ago

    by Lemon Squeezy

    Very nice work definitely well structured and an incredible message! Also love the title well done! Magnificent work :)