Unlovable Heart

All my life I have felt alone
because no one has understood.
The only thing I ever wanted
was the one thing I didn't get.
I wanted to be loved without being hurt;
a love with no conditions attached.
It seemed like every time
I believed in such a thing,
I failed to meet the standards of requirements.
I wanted to be loved for being me,
I even tried changing into what I
thought they wanted me to be
but it still was not enough.....

.....I was not enough.....

I had so much love inside my open heart
but had no one to give it to.
It felt like I was here to love;
my reason to be on Earth.
But how could one heart hold so much love
if it remained trapped inside?
Over time my heart began to flood
and the love spilled overboard.
It was so much easier to let it go
than the pain of it being unwanted.
Like a hole in my pocket
the love just poured away,
until only an empty organ remained.
I tried so hard to share my love
but it was wanted by no one else.
And now my heart is an empty shell
not good enough for love.
Just waiting for the final crush
that will crumble it into dust.

An empty shell,
an unlovable heart,

a heart the world forgot.

Saffie
21

19/12/12