(yes I understand this is not a poem however it explains me so well sorry if it bothers you)
Many of my friends have been asking me the same questions lately..
Where I been? Why I don't talk as much anymore? If I'm ok? And more.
The answers to those questions are endless because the truth is nearly everyone has been pushed away by me but not because i want it to be this way I haven't forgotten them the truth is I lost myself . My battle with mental illness , drugs self injury,my need for control all took over me. I don't like who I was and I hate who I have become. I use to be a friend to others but I have become a memory now, a shadow of hopelessness.
I have became a monster.
I lost my control, my will to live, damaged relationships but most of all I have lost myself. People wonder what caused me to get this far gone the only answer I can truly give is addiction. The choices I have made got me here people ask me if I will be able to save myself but I can't answer that because I don't know. Nobody can save me from this but myself and as of now I feel I'm to far gone to be saved. I am lost and out of control.
I am a monster now and the only true way out is to stop myself or die trying
