Sitting alone here in this dusty abandoned house memories seem to flood my head. silent screams from that bed, only wishing i was truly dead. just me sitting alone eyes glazed like stained windows, hollow and emtpy, the rush, the high, the sun is replaced by the moon, light replaced by dark, sitting here in this corner the smell of pure pain from my past i look up and see your face so clearly looking down on me but within seconds your as gone and lost as i feel. one single tear falls and shatters to the ground as i reach in my pocket i realise its time. the sweet surrender, the end of the night, maybe i can find myself maybe i will just lose myself more. memories flash through my head one last time as i slide the metalic escape across my wrist as i have many times before,this time just with intent, knowing this will be my last, slowy the skin seems to open deep inside i know whats done cant be taken back heart beats slow,the rush, the blackest of red flows to the floor,emotions flood and mix, confusion, pain, loss, regret,fear. the darkeness here seems to become crushing, breatheing slows, weak, fadeing into the cold blank emptyness seeming to swallow me whole. music playing softly through the speakers, a sweet sound that seems to be fadeing out more and more as the seconds pass, i hold your picture close knowing how this will end fear of what i have done but knowing that this is how it has to be. i hear your voice faint as a wisper your hand around mine, the words you say seem a hollow wisper but as i see your face i see the fear, the panic, the struggle to get to me, your screams are so distant from me now your touch is like a feather softly brushing through me, shakeing me trying to wake me from this escape somehow, i know your there but im gone i cant wake from this. i see the pain and know you are begging for me to have another chance at this life. but its to late with my last breath i mouth the words i love you one last time before i escape this body i stand over you and the hollow shell that was once me.now an empty broken frame of a girl who could no longer handle the pain, i see blinding light covering me as i walk through the tunnel,emotionless,within a second i am brought back into a cold dark room, sharp air pours into my lungs, i look up to see you stareing down at me tears pouring from your eyes. and as i try to grasp what has happened i am pulled away, back into a new place looking around now i see that it was all just a dream. and now i turn to see your face and hold you tight. as i kiss you i know i could never leave you like that, sometimes it just easier to escape pain with pain. now i know what true love is i would rather feel love, the look in your eyes, the sweet smell of your skin,the way your hand feels in mine. your smile, the sounds and movement you make while asleep. i know i never want this moment to end right here with you by my side i know i am safe and i will never let you go.
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